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Mental health

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Original poster

I'm not me anymore

20 replies

Emmielu · 21/12/2012 07:04

I'm not the happy bubbly chatty woman everyone loved. Instead I'm a grumpy, low, snappy, emotional wreck. I don't feel like I care anymore. I just don't care. I'm scared of loosing people because of the way I'm being but I don't know how to be the real me anymore. I had a happy day last week for the first time in a month. The next morning I just couldn't function properly. Like everything around me was a blur. I don't remember things anymore either. I'm really scared. I don't know what's wrong with me.

OP posts:

oopsadaisymaisy · 21/12/2012 07:22

Hi emmie, I need to get off tk work but wanted to say you sound as if you're anxious and stressed. Can I ask how old you are? I'm early 40's and wonder if its a hormonal thing for me. I think life can be really stressful sometimes. Um trying to focus on what I can do to make myself feel better, like exercise. I'm probably not much help. In sure someone will be along soon with good advice.

Original poster

Emmielu · 21/12/2012 07:27

I'm 21. I do feel worn down. This sounds awful but I just want today over with so I don't have to be around so many people because it's the holidays for dd.

OP posts:

amillionyears · 21/12/2012 07:55

Have you been to the GP?
Has something happened to you recently?
Is it to do with todays date?

Original poster

Emmielu · 21/12/2012 08:00

no I've not been to my Gp. my friend thinks I should but I'm putting it off cause I refuse to agree with what she thinks it is. I've moved house and settled in ok and that's it with regards to big things happening. doesn't have anything to do with today's date either. friends have said I'm not myself and that they're worried too

OP posts:

amillionyears · 21/12/2012 10:13

Sorry, I dont quite understand.
Are you disagreeing with your friend about what your friend's diagnosis is?
Unless your friend, is a medical person, I shouldnt worry what she says.

Moving house is a big deal. Very high on stress levels usually. Yes, things moght calm down over the christmas break for you.
Else I would advise you to see a GP.
Actually having reread your op, I think you should still make an appointment asap.

Original poster

Emmielu · 21/12/2012 19:22

I do disagree with my friend because I know she thinks it's depression and I know how qui k people can be to jump to that so instead of believe her with near to no proof myself I don't think I am depressed.

OP posts:

diddlediddledumpling · 21/12/2012 19:35

Honestly, you do sound like you're suffering from depression or anxiety, but like your friend, I'm not a medical professional. You really would be doing yourself a favour to see your GP.
When I felt a bit like this a few years ago, I was prescribed antidepressants but never picked them up. Instead, I have up all caffeine, started taking exercise and eating more healthily. I think the exercise was the thing that made the biggest difference.

xmasbanana · 21/12/2012 19:49

I had something like that when I was younger. I did not feel suicidal or extremely sad, which one would easily link to depression. It lasted half an year and went away. Hindsight I think I was depressed. I would have not believed I was depressed if someone had suggested it then. It ruined my then relationship and also caused other problems.

knackeredoutmum · 21/12/2012 20:10

Emmie, I am so sorry, but you have described depression exactly in your op, please go to see a gp. If they think it is depression and they think anti depressants will help then what have you got to lose?

amillionyears · 22/12/2012 00:17

Emmielu, are you scared to go to the GP, just in case it is depression?

MissPricklePants · 22/12/2012 00:24

sounds like me a few weeks ago (I had felt like this on and off for the best part of a year) I finally went to the GP and got some anti depressants, They have helped and take the rough edges off, I function much better and don't have as many bad days where I am a cow! I can also deal with my demanding dd much better, they have really helped lift me out of a dark place. Please see your GP even if it is just for a chat to discuss options. Depression is nothing to be afraid of if you get some medication to help it will get better.

Original poster

Emmielu · 22/12/2012 06:22

I am scared its depression. I'm scared I'll loose my daughter cause of it along with all my friends and family

OP posts:

amillionyears · 22/12/2012 07:49

I have bumped a thread I started about 2 weeks ago. There are quite a lot of mums who think like you do.
So I wanted up to date experiences from them.
btw, in your case, I am not sure that you do have. But pleeease see you GP.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1632758-It-is-safe-to-go-to-the-doctors

Original poster

Emmielu · 22/12/2012 08:09

amillionyears thanks for the link. I do understand I should see my Gp but how do I go about telling him how I feel when I don't know myself half the time? I feel really embarrassed.

OP posts:

amillionyears · 22/12/2012 08:14

Write down some of the stuff you have posted on here.
Take in the list, and anything else that occurs to you before the appointment, and have the list in your bag or pocket.
So that, when you are in the appointment, if you cant think what it is you want to tell the GP, you will have the list ready if necessary to look at or show him.

GPs have seen patients who think they may have depression, but are not sure, many many times before. So they will be used to the many ways in which patients try and tell them about how they are feeling.

diddlediddledumpling · 22/12/2012 08:29

Your friends sound lovely, they're concerned about you and mature enough to encourage you to get help. There is no way you will lose them. And even if it is depression, that absolutely is not a reason why your daughter would be removed from you. Instead, you'll be given help and support to get back to your old self.
I'm sure there's lots of good advice on that other thread because so many people have been through similar.
Good luck, you'll look back on this stage and be grateful that you were strong enough to come on here and tell people how you're feeling.

Original poster

Emmielu · 22/12/2012 08:49

Would it be worth asking a friend to come with me?

OP posts:

knackeredoutmum · 22/12/2012 09:00

you could if it makes you feel more confident to go and if you wont feel embarrassed about sharing your feelings in front of her

knackeredoutmum · 22/12/2012 09:01

look, the gps should be open on monday, or out of hours or drop in centre today. why dont you go now whilst its on your mind, then you wont have to worry about it any more over the holidays?

MrsJingleBells74 · 22/12/2012 13:25

You won't lose your daughter. I've suffered depression all my adult life but live a normal life (if there is such a thing) with the help of antidepressants. I had a bad relapse after the birth of DS1, was horrifically depressed but got HV, GPs etc involved & there was never even a hint of him being taken away from me.

Depression is a chemical imbalance, same as a lot of other illnesses, if you had high blood pressure you'd take medication for it wouldn't you? Antidepressants are no different. We all need to remove the stigma attached to mental illness.

Hope you go & see your GP soon & get some help to get back to yourself again. If I can help at all PM me by all means.

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