2nd Child

[greengirl13]

I have just given birth to a beautiful girl anf also hace a lovely 2 yr old. I am feeling a bit overwhelmed trying to raise both of them. I worry that my first daughter isn't getting enough attention and also that my youngest isn't getting the quality time my first child had. Is this common? Iworry about things I have no control over, like will they get on? Will our families love our newest addition as much as our first? This sounds really silly but its really bothering me!

Any advice?

I'm sure this is quite usual after giving birth. I used to worry that the love I felt for my first child would not stretch to the next - I now have three and love them all to bits. I'm sure your families will be equally besotted with all your children. Your elder child will like being grown up and protective towards the baby. Just enjoy!

Thanks Sherbert - That helps. Our eldest does like helping out and loves our youngest to bits. Its funny how I love them both to bits but together they can be quite overwhelming! Trying to give equal amounts of attention. I don't think it helps that our eldest is just starting to get a bit cheeky, trying to nip that in the bud before it launches into the terrible twos. Any advice for when those terrible twos start?

best advice for terrible two is no ignore tantrums and praise good behaviour - use distraction a lot to stop them doing wrong and remember that the child is only 2 and it is frustrating being 2! hth - i am sure you are doing great with your girls!

Try to keep the elder child busy and feeling important. Also keep on about how much the baby loves him / her, wants to be with them, likes having a big brother or sister. I didn't spend too long with the baby when she was really small but devoted the time to the elder child who was also just 2 in both my cases - don't think love needs to be rationed exactly equally but according to the stage you're at. My eldest children really adored their new babies and would spend hours just watching them. Make a fuss of the big brother or sister when visitors come to see the baby.

Thats encouraging as it is is what we have been trying to do. I just ignore the bad behaviour and give her lots of praise and stuff. She seems to love the baby and takes great delight in giving her kisses and cuddles. I think these are normal worries but its nice to get advice just in case!

are you bf? - I bf with baby in my arms as I moved around looking after the other/s - being able to bf when doing potty training or sorting others out really helped. Just to say that if you're not bf I respect this!

Nope youngest is bottle fed, she was early and my milk hadn't come in yet. She was pretty settled on bottles when it did. Bottle feeding helps as it means DH and I can take shots feeding the baby and playing with DD.

best wishes greengirl xxx good that your dh is helping out. Hope all goes well - going from 1 to 2 was difficult for me as I never got to rest. It took awhile for me to be able to juggle all the demands made on me. Be kind to yourself.

Thanks - its comforting to know that I'm not the only one!

Hi greengirl,
I had my dd2 4 weeks ago, i felt the same as you, dd1 is 2 years old, i felt like she was'nt getting any attention from me and this upset me, dd1 showed no intrest in dd2 and would not go near her. Now she loves her sister, i involve dd2 in evrything, she even wipes dd1's bum when im changing her and she helps with the house work. i sure you will all be fine in a few weeks just give it time.

Thanks Marne - I think the problem is me rather than anyone else. DD2 and DD1 are great. DD2 loves her little sister and DD1 is happy just to watch the world go by. I just need to stop worrying so much. Thanks for you message