Christmas is ruined

[justalilmummy]

My partner was sectioned last night and may be in for upto 28 days. How the hell am I going to explain to my 3 year old why daddy isn't there at Christmas! I'm going to be all on my own, I was so excited as its the first year ds really understands and its all been completely ruined! And to top it off I am in very early pregnancy and I just feel all on my own. I know this sounds very selfish of me but why has this happened I havnt told anyone in rl and I just feel so alone :-(

First of all you don't sound remotely selfish.

How awful for you . Do you have any family you can spend at least part of Christmas with? Close friends nearby?

Your 3yo will take it better than you think. Very young children do tend to just accept what they are told ime - as long as there are plenty of cuddles from you your child will be OK. It's you we need to worry about ((((((hug))))))

We are going over to my mum's for the Christmas lunch so I won't be on my own all day. I was just so looking forward to our little family opening our presents at home in the morning. My hormones are not helping me in the slightest, im suffering from pretty bad morning sickness so that's making me feel even worse. I just can't believe this has happened

Oh you must feel heartbroken about your lovely family Christmas, I would be, even without the early pregnancy knackeredness and sickness

I know it sounds stupid but you have so many many lovely family Christmases to look forward too. And if your partner gets the help he needs, that is investing in your future happiness. But I know that doesn't help now. It's rotten shit luck and I really feel for you

Thankyou, I completely support hes decision to stay in, and fingers crossed he won't have to stay the full 28 days, I know he needs help but could he not have decided to have a breakdown a couple of weeks later!! It's hes birthday today as well, fab day he must he having! I'm alrite really, just needed to vent as sitting here all by myself going slightly crazy myself!

Yes his timing is bloody lousy, I would be having words with him about that!

Fingers crossed for you that he's home sooner rather than later. And don't worry about your ds, he has you and he'll be fine.

Keep posting, this is a great place to vent and get support, other MNers will see your thread and post in a bit xx

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how very stressful for you. I hope things improve for your partner soon. At this age I think if you stick to the simple truth with your little one, that daddy is poorly and in hospital, that everyone is working hard to get him better but he might still be there for Xmas, but that Santa will still come, he will see his gran etc then he should as Greeny said accept it surprisingly well.

Xmas can be such a tough time for many people - at the moment you probably v rightfully feel that the family Xmas you dreamed of has been ruined - but bear in mind that the marketing glitz is often just that - illness/loneliness/bereavement/financial woes mean that many people aren't as happy as they feel under pressure to be. I imagine that it probably feels particularly hard as mental health issues can be hard to discuss outside the internet, due to stigma/misunderstanding.

Oh poor you.

Your partner may get some leave in time for Christmas (time allowed away from hospital) so all hope is not lost.

You sound lovely, I am sure you will make Christmas lovely for your DS. Can your Mum help you in the run up?

There is an organisation called Rethink for carers/relatives of people with mental health problems, maybe contact them for support?

Thankyou everyone, I've finally managed to speak to him on the phone, he seems ok and they have said they are having someone reassess him on Monday so I hope he can come home! I'm just still shocked as I didn't see it coming, he has had a breakdown before and was put on medication. This was over a year ago and I kind of saw it coming this time it was one minute we are talking about what pizza we was going to order to all off a sudden him completely losing the plot! I feel alot better now I've spoken to him I know hes ok

Oh I am glad you have spoken to him and are feeling a bit better. TBH even if you ARE expecting it, it still comes as a shock and is a very bruising experience having someone close to you with severe MH difficulties. And that's without being pregnant, and having a 3yo, and it being nearly Christmas.

I admire both of you for doing the right thing, facing up to the need for dp to get support, where many people might have muddled along and ended up in a worse situation - your ds is a lucky boy x

Will your three year old realise if you celebrate a bit later?