Feeling really down, not able to cope & isolated! Also so guilty for feeling this way :( Any advice much appreciated!

[ScrummyMummyToBe]

Hello all,

Just joined today, currently 14 weeks pregnant with my first baby. My partner has been pleased with the news from day one, but I feel constantly anxious, crying a lot & generally very down in the dumps :(

Not the way I'd imagined pregnancy at all...I suffered quite badly with morning sickness at the start (has calmed down now thankfully) which made me quite resentful (horrible I know!), but I thought that after my 12-week scan I would feel more bonded and motherly towards the baby.

However this hasn't happened, all I keep thinking is I'm making a huge mistake & that I'm not going to be able to cope...In my darkest moments I wish I'd just had an abortion earlier on. The thing is, although my family & friends have all been lovely, they are constantly telling me to "calm down", otherwise I'll end up with a nervous baby. I'm a bit of a worrier by nature, but people's comments are stressing me out even more, and now I'm worried the baby will pick up on how negative I'm feeling? :/

The other thing is, I've got this overwhelming guilt for feeling this way, I feel so selfish when so many people would love to be in my position, so it's a bit of a vicious cycle. Just want my old life back :(

This is causing so many problems with my partner (I feel I can't confide in friends & family, don't want to worry them & also don't want to let them see I'm not coping), broke down last night & told him everything, but his opinion is along the lines of "there's nothing wrong with you, just think positive & get on with it". This just makes me feel even more isolated as I feel he's not supporting me at all...He just thinks I'm being dramatic & looking for attention.

I'm having quite conflicting feelings in that I feel like I don't care about the baby one minute, but I know deep down I must otherwise I wouldn't worry so much. I know I am very hormonal etc at the moment but really feel I should be a lot happier than this? My sister is pregnant too & can't help but compare myself.

Sorry for the rant guys, thank you for reading x

Possible ante natal depression. Go and see your GP and you will get help.

The baby will be just fine. And so will you but you need to speak to your GP.

Firstly, how you are feeling right now has no effect on the baby in your tummy so please don't worry about that.
It sounds like you are very stressed out at the moment. It feels like you have had mixed feelings about your pregnancy but feel you have to act happy and overjoyed because that's what people expect you to be.
I know this sounds cliched but have you been to see your GP, or if not is this something you would consider?
It's normal to be doubtful about a pregnancy that isn't planned. I went through exactly the same as you, I was very young when I felt pregnant. I went through stages of hating the baby inside me and that made me feel so very guilty.
I think that you need to concentrate on yourself for a while because your life at the moment seems to be centred around this pregnancy. Treat yourself to a book/DVD or invite your friends over for an evening.
Not everyone is ecstatic about their pregnancy trust me, I went through so much doubt about carrying on with the pregnancy. When my son was born it wasn't instant love but after time I fell so in love with him and now he is 8 and I honestly couldn't imagine my life without him.