Just so sad

[MsFanackerPants]

I'm off work. again. with depression. again. I'm terrified of losing my job. again. I'm in debt and even though I have a wonderful DP I just feel so bloody lonely. I'm also turning into a grumpy critical moo and I wish I was less quiet and passive about depression. I wish I could just go and smash something or shout and scream and cry. But instead I'm just here feeling very small, tearful and lost.

I don't even know if writing this will help but being awake when the whole city is asleep is just so isolating.

It is, I can only imagine how how awful you are feeling. It's a cruel time of year for depression.

If you're off work, has your gp recommended you for counselling or physical therapy? Being at home alone works for some; for others of makes them feel lonely and isolated.

Please don't give yourself a hard time for how you cope! I bet your DP is relieved you don't shout and smash things..

Sorry not to be more helpful, just wanted to say you're not alone.

I was actually going to suggest that you thump a pillow, if that would help.
And cuddle your wonderful DP.