I have a whole host of anxiety/depression symptoms and I just can't go on without doing anything about it.
I'm finding it increasingly difficult to get on with things. Twice in the past two weeks I have called in sick at work because I just couldn't face going in. Both times, I've spent the day sat in bed worrying instead. I am losing weight, not eating much but my alcohol intake is increasing quite dramatically. I look haggered. I have no patience with the kids and constantly snap at them or ignore them. I have so much trouble sleeping - sometimes I just lay in bed all night with the same reoccuring thought spinning in my head over and over again. I have terrible mood swings. I have a boyfriend of 4 months who sometimes I love, sometimes I just can't be arsed with him. He's never anything but nice to me yet I constantly think he's going to dump me. I sit there waiting for his texts - if he doesn't text me, I start thinking allsorts and feel depressed. The worst bit is, since I met him I've done so many wonderful things. In the short space of 4 months he's taken me to see numerous bands, comedy acts, festivals, movies, shows, fun/romantic weekends away, he treats me amazingly yet I sit there feeling depressed over the fact that he hasn't shown any interest in marriage. FFS we only met 4 months ago! my rational self tells me that yet I sit there thinking "bastard, why won't you marry me! why am I not good enough for you?" and you don't have to tell me I'm being irrational - deep down, I know!!
I just don't see how I can go on like this. I have shit loads of hours to make up at work now and the very thought of going in on Monday morning makes me feel physically sick. After spending a lovely night and day today with my boyfriend I've come home and want to cry because I won't see him again until Monday - Im going out tonight with a friend and it's not the catching up I'm looking forward to, it's getting drunk.
Is it time for a trip to the docs? if so, what will he do??