Please help! Is this pnd scared of going to doctor.

[anxiousmummy]

changed my name for this. dd is 10 months for quite a few months I have been feeling like i cant cope anymore.
I think i need medicatiopn but i dont know if i have pnd becuase i dont sit and cry all day but i feel very stressed nearly all the time. and when dd cries it feels like something is twisting my insides and it doesnt really make me feel sorry for her instead i get angry and pissed off that she is crying! i hate myself for it, I would never hurt her. but i have shouted at her before quite a few times. i dont want to be like this i feel like my life is over and ive lost myself. i want to enjoy dd instead i look to the next day with dread and feel like nothing to look forward to. is this familar to anyone?

i read the thread about 'what was your lowest point' i think it was called and i have tosay i could empathise with it a lot.
i want to get better and be happy. can i be helped?
what do i say to the doctor?
im scared of saying when dd cries it annoys me, because im scared they will try to take her away from me. Im single mum, on low income (although uni educated) not middle class happily married im scared they will look down on me and stereotype me as a bad mum who cant cope.
also i've never been to see these doctors due to only recently joining surgery so they dont know me.
i just want to get better dont know what to do, sorry about bad punctuation etc.. not feeling with it at the moment.

It sounds like you could have.
PND is (sadly) very common you know, nobody will take your dd away. Going to get help is, and will be seen as, a responsible step.
Is your HV someone you could approach?
I've no experience of PND myself, but you are so so not alone.

Can relate to a lot of what you say and I had PND. I would def try to see your GP or HV for a chat - you can feel better. How about printing out your post/making some notes for the dr if you find things hard to explain?

Sorry for brief reply, off out in a mo, but just wanted you to know that someone understands. Will check back later. Try to take it easy on yourself ok?

thanks, i cant really go to hv becuase whwere i live there is no continuity of care, no community spirit everything is fragmented iyswim so nobody knows each other well at all.
i just dont know what to say to doc, and will ad's help?
i hate my life

it's well worth you going to doctors as they can rule out a simple physical cause like anaemia/underactive thyroid that makes you feel like this. doctor may suggest something else other than ADs - eg. counselling. write down the sort of thing you have said here - if you don't feel comfortable with saying that hearing your DDs crying triggers, you, then don't mention that.

i phoned doctors appointment tomorrow afternoon. wanted to go today. the appointment is with a locum.
I want to be happy feel like im going nowhere, my relationship is all but over aswell, partner has said he doesnt feel in love with me, and feels at the mo he not going to end up with me, and there is a possibility of him meeting someone else. so im anxious evertyday thinking the first gilr to come along means im finished

anxiousmummy, your 'partner' sounds like a bit of a dickhead tbh. No wonder you feel down.
Well done for making the appointment :)

PND seems to hit different people different ways (which is probably the reason why it's so hard, as a sufferer, to work out whether you have PND or not). Some feel low and weepy, some get overanxious, some get very irritable.
It doesn't have to be like this, honest. But sadly in RL the help won't just come to you. You have to ask for it. well done for making the appointment. It may help to write down your thoughts beforehand.
Your partner... well, I don't know what to say .

sorry if that was a bit blunt but that's no way for him to treat you.

i really appreciate your replies i need some support to be honest.
regarding my 'partner' i love him very much and it is my fault really, i betrayed him a few months ago not an affair but a drunken thing worse thing thats ever happened. he told me he was having those thoughts before it happened.
I need to get myself 'right' i never feel happy or relaxed cant remember the last time i laughed.