Just starting to lose to anxiety

[timewastingonhere]

I have always thought I was never an anxious person and thought it was a bit of random thing/non tangible and over the years I've had 'health issues' and consultants say are you anxious/you need to relax/walk/yoga etc and then my health symptoms have always been proved to be something like thyroid so thought well that's not anxiety anyway over the last month - however the last few weeks I have been suffering with scary symptoms most nights I am woken with my chest pounding and heart racing, I now get the classic tight belt around my chest - I'm crying writing this but I don't know why - I've cried all day - and I've had the realiastion that maybe I am that anxious person and the anxiety symptoms have now became a problem - I am drinking more not a lot but every night to try and help me sleep, I have intense chest pain and racing heart; I don't want to go to the doctor as I feel they will make the final conclusion that 'I'm a nutter' but do I need a doctor or do I just need to accept my anxiety and deal with it myself -

Aghhhhh I hate this feeling any help/advice/kindred spirits would be soooo welcome -

I get heart palpitations and feel I can't breathe sometimes. I like walking, fast, and don't drive so I find that very helpful. It does help motivate me to clean and do things with DD and cook loads etc, but at the same time I have to make sure I take time to relax and do nothing. This is very hard to do. I find I come on here or try to get into a series on Netflix or whatever to keep me from wearing myself out in the evenings when DD is in bed. I could spend a lot of time doing pointless things, and getting worked up about something or other or starting a huge project that will dog me for days. I am bad at the moment as my ex is taking us to Court to dispute paying CSA and we have waited for over 3 months for the date. The lack of control affects me I think. I have her in nursery for two part days a week so I get a break (read time to do housework) and she gets a change of scenery (I have no family to help). I am panicking at the mo that his payments will stop as a result of Court and I will have no respite at all. I think it is keeping me a bit sane having time out and I feel very guilty if I don't use it productively. I am sure this is all down to anxiety. I find my heart beating really fast and often feel very overwhelmed as I have such a long To Do list and feel I really need to be acting as both parents as well as staying calm at all times and happy for DD.

Not sure if any of that helped! I have also been hiding from it although a good friend has been telling me I am anxious for a few years now. I think I just thought everyone had this nervous energy!

It does help to know I'm not alone and it's real - thanks for posting no advice from me as I'm at the start of my journey...