SCARED OF DYING.

[MollyMooMin]

Just recently I have this scare that every little pain I get, it's going to turn out to be something really serious, and could kill me. Every time I pick up a paper I read that someone's died unexpectedly, really young & fit. I'm waiting to have a biopsy on a mole, and I'm convinced I have the Cword. I don't know what's triggered this in me.. my life is so perfect I'm scaring myself stupid that a serios illness is going to put an end to it all. Is there anyone I should talk to? I've tried so hard to stop thinking like this, but can't.

I felt like this a while ago and I had mild depression.

I started having the same kind of feelings after my 2nd child was born (July 05). My 1st son started school in Jan this year and I became quite anxious over that, the whole 'my baby is growing up' thing but I also became paranoid that he would get sick at school and bring the sickness home and give it to the baby and to me! All I could think about was sickness, if I overheard in the playground that someone had a tummy bug I became quite panicky and unable to get the thought that my son would get it out of my head. In the hospital after my 2nd son was born I had a panic attack in the middle of the night and it scared the life out of me, nothing like I have quite experienced before. I became so aware of my own mortality, frighteningly so. This I found quite hilarious as a Buddhist who spends quite a lot of time meditating on death! I just couldn't get to gtips with it at all. I became convinced that every ache and pain was something big, yes like Cancer. When I have those feelings now, I take 4 drops of Rescue Remedy on my tongue and sit in meditation and I investigate them. Where is this thought coming from, is it rational, I really try and taste the anxiety. It helps me work things out and reassures me that it is my own mind that is troubling me, playing with my emotions, my fears. At the end of the day, if you are in a situation that you cannot do anything about then why worry and if you can do something ,why worry. Do not waste another moment of your precious human life on these negative thoughts, because until they are founded in fact that is all they are. It's sunny outside my window today, I hope it is where you are.

Counselling would help you Molly and don't be embarassed about asking your doctor to refer you for it.. lots of people benefit from counselling for all kinds of reasons.

In the short term, I find Bachs Rescue Remedy helps for those panicky moments. Believe it or not it really does seem to make a difference. And I have phases of having the same morbid kind of fears/anxiety as you.

SJ x

Oooh Dalesgirl I hadn't seen you had recommended Rescue Rememdy as well! It's great stuff! I can never quite believe it works.. but it does.

wow where do you get that from, I could do with a bottle never mind 4 drops.

Another vote for bach's rescue remedy. I went away for the weekend earlier on this month which involved a plane flight and I got myself really worked up that we would crash and I would leave my two boys orphans - got very tearful and upset about it. Which is bizarre really, as I'm NOT afraid of flying (don't feel any fear if we all go on as a family - perhaps my brain feels that if we all die together that's okay ).

Anyway, I took rescue remedy while waiting at the gate in the airport both ways and it had an immediate and calming effect - even through the 2 hour delay on the way out due to technical problems on the plane gulp.

I too get very morbid these days - I've cut down my news consumption drastic because the panic levels the media induce in me just aren't worth it. There's always some doomsday scenario in every night's news, isn't there? I'm convinced it's more my fear of leaving my kids alone though, rather than afraid of my own mortality, mainly due to my reaction to flying.