I don't really know what the point of this post is. I guess I just don't feel I am coping with life at the moment.
I hate my job and it makes me feel very down every day. I also have no self-confidence, I think no one likes me and that they all think I'm boring. I struggle to find things to say, especially in group situations, and so choose not to go out and socialise which of course makes it worse.
I have a lovely boyfriend of a year who is great, yet I get angry and moody with him for no reason. I feel jealous of another woman who is our mutual friend - she is happier, prettier, more fun than me and I feel really resentful of her, whcih is awful as she is truly a lovely person. I have not mentioned this to anyone, but this...hatred niggles away at me all the time.
I feel like I am pushing everyone away. I am pushing my friends away because I make excuses not to see them, I am pushing my boyfriend away because I don't want to go out with him and my friends and am snappy, my work colleagues don't respsect me because I am useless at my job and I just feel like a huge loser.
I am 31, no children (although I am not that bothered about having them), and feel like the future is very bleak. Every day I ask myself "what will become of me" and I just don't know. How do I change?