Feel like I am about to implode. What can I do?

[mulranno]

I have had a series of depressions, x2 post natal and another after the death of my mother and this current one now where I have been on ADs for 15 months - but I feel like this is different - I dont have a reason to be depressed but I feel so bad. I hold bits of my life together - the kids get to school and are fed I get to work and get through the day but either side of the working day and week I am a wreck I dont move, wash, eat, I well-up but cant cry, want to scream but cant speak, dont go out. I get out in the mornings and have panic attacks going in the office door then I settle and put on a brave plastic face - then I come home and collapse. I dont know where this is going - I dont know what to do - I dont know what is going to happen next - I know I need some rest but the thought of being in my wreck of a house any longer than I need to is suffocating.

Can you talk to your GP about it?

I went to my GP last week for a medication review - I told her I was fine but I ended up in tears telling her that I was under enormous stress with challenging behaviour from my sen daughter and teenage son - she has arranged for my daughter to be referred to camhs. I went to see a councllor for the first time last week too -- it was excruciating - I felt I have done all I can

I feel like I need to check in somewhere, my head is pounding

Would talking to the Samaritans help? 08457 909090

There are also a&e or your out of hours Gp if you need them.

I will call the Samaritans - thankyou