Really need some support

[Lozza1170]

I'm feeling really low and completely exhausted right now. I've suffered with anxiety for nearly 3 years now and i'm tired of feeling like this. It started when i miscarried my first baby in 2009 3 weeks before i was due to get married. I started to feel on edge all the time, then 6 months later i fell pregnant with my ds and i spent my whole pregnancy worrying that something bad was going to happen. After a fairly traumatic labour i was terrified i'd get ill and i wouldn't be able to look after my ds. I convinced myself i had DVT and a brain tumor. I then started to feel down and stopped going out, i isolated myself from my family and friends. Then fast forward my ds is 2 and i am terrified to leave the house, i panic about everything. I constantly worry that i'm dying or i'm about to have a heart attack or something. I feel on edge all the time. And i'm now really exhausted i don't want to feel this way anymore i want my life back. The Dr's have offered me citalopram but i dont want to take it, i hate taking tablets. But i don't know what to do, i had some CBT last year and for a short time things seem better but now its worse than ever. I don't have any friends, i don't really see my family much. I feel like i'm letting my little boy down so much. I'm sorry for ranting i just don't know what to do anymore.

I know what you mean about feeling like you let your kids down. I just posted about my emetophobia and what it does to my sons life. But you are not a bad person, you have been through a lot. m/c just before getting married must have been absolutely horrible for you. Did you get any counselling after it happened? You say you hate taking pills. So do I but I eventually did and honestly those pills saved my life. They made the days bearable again. I got better every day and now I'm off them again, still functioning, but I know they are there if I ever need them again. I took Sertraline, and I do recommend it. Hopefully someone will be along soon who can help more. Just know you arent alone x

I take citalopram. It's really worked for me. I think medication is much preferable to feeling so awful.

I agree, I was terrifed of taking any medication but after 7 months on paroxetine I can say it really does help with the anxiety. I can now get through the day and have a lot more patience and time for my DS. Maybe you can be referred for some more therapy.

Thinking of you.

Poor old you OP.

Why not have a look at the 'live life to the full' website which is a CBT approach, by an NHS psychiatrist. It's fantastically helpful, you can do the whole course or dip in and out nd most importntly you can sit in your pyjamas in front of your laptop in your own time!

llttf.com/index.php?section=page&page_seq=8

And tablets can help some people too, even if its only for a few months to help you be in a 'better place' to deal with some of the issues in your life right now.

And as you'll be able to see from the other posters, you're certainly not alone in this x

Not anxiety but depression with me. I didn't want to take ADs but found paroxatine to be, for me, almost a miracle drug. You could try a short course and see what happens - remember that they take a few weeks to kick in.

I know it's difficult I've been there. Drugs can help. If you don't want them to be long term, start the drugs while you find a therapist/therapy style that suits you.
Think of it this way, if you had a friend with an illness you'd support them taking the medicine that would help them. Why would you deny yourself the same thing?

I'm sorry you're feeling this way, OP. Since everyone else has sung the praises of medication (which I'm on too), something else I'd suggest is hypnotherapy. In my experience it was a bit similar in approach to CBT but so much more effective and so much quicker in terms of seeing results.

A lot of hypnotherapists will give you a cd to listen to daily along with your regular sessions, which means when you're feeling stressed you can stick headphones in and relax a bit. For me it was just easier than CBT, which was always a lot of hard work for a lazy bugger like me.

Even if you think going to see a hypnotherapist formally is not for you, you could also try something like Paul McKenna. Easy to get, relatively cheap, easy to put into practice, and pretty beneficial I think.

Hope you're feeling alright OP, and good luck.

Hi OP - you sound EXACTLY like me. I won't go on the tablets either. Going to give hedgehogs suggestion a go.

You're not alone. I struggle to get through the day until DH comes home. Constant panic about feeling 'weird', that I might collapse, that my vision is funny, etc etc etc etc. I agree - it's utterly, utterly exhausting.

Mine started after DS was born 18 months ago. I'm pg again and it's still terrible. If I'm plunged into the same hell hole I was after DS though when this baby is born I simply will HAVE to try the ADs.

You're not alone.