Anxiety has hit me like a train

[OnlyWantsOne]

I know people in RL know my username but I need support so not NM.

I feel horrific today. I'm beyond teary just feel sick and sweaty and ill. A terrible night with dd2 has resulted in lack of sleep combined with us moving house over the weekend and now being in a strange house surrounded by boxes has just tipped me over the edge I think.

I was signed off work with anxiety and stress at 16 weeks PG. the baby is now 6 weeks old and I feel worse now than I did then.

I couldn't work out why earlier.

Everything just seems too much.

I've made a doctor appointment tomorrow but its a doctor I don't know and who doesn't know me and now in anxious about that. Do I talk about everything that's wrong? My 2nd degree tear didn't heal properly and I think I have some form of prolapse - it's been like it since dd1 though so isn't new. My hair loss has got worse & my psoriasis is back with vengeance. My best friend is gone and I miss her so so so much it hurts. DP isn't some one I can open up to. Too scared he will hold it against me if ever we part our ways.

I've been treading water but now some thing has to give and it's my head.

My ex is having a pop about dd1 and contact this weekend and I know I have to deal with him but he is abusive and controlling and I can't face arguing with him but dd doesn't want to spend her birthday with him she wants to stay at home with her sisters.

I h ave to unpack this house. And sort the old house ready for our tenant to move in.

I'm self employed and can't get work done as I'm not focused and have no time due to house move etc. I'm scared I'm going to let my customers down. And if you're reading this and you know what I do I'm sorry I will sort it.

Bigger issues consume my head. I need some proper support from some one to deal with my kids vaccinations. I have horrid needle phobia and I need some one to come with me to get them done but I can't open up to any one about it because I'm being pathetic and putting my babies in danger and I la awake and fret something terrible will happen and it's all my
Fault.

See your GP, tell them your worries. A lot seems to have happened recently, and your brain has decided it can't cope. With me it was drip feeding then my head went blam. I had a panic attack before my children had their jabs, so DH went instead. Would it help to break things down into a list and try to put them in order of priority and physically cross them off. That always helps me to get it out on paper. I was lucky and could share these with DH. See the health visitor as it sounds like PND. They will help you sorry if bit disjointed post, as getting on with tea xx

I'm worried about anti depressants and breast feeding?

But all my mind is fixated on is going and buying a packet of cigarettes.

IV not smoked since march 2010!!

I went to the doctor.
He conpletely dismissed me.
I sobbed and he told me its all normal.

He ushered me out still crying.

Perhaps see your health visitor, they should do a questionairre at your six week check that highlights signs of PND. Hoping your day gets better x

OWO please seek someone. Have you tried a female GP, I saw a male GP who dismissed my anxiety, it made me worse. Some AD's are safe for BF. I saw a female GP was referred and had some really good support. She's usually gruff with previous dealings but she was really understanding and helped.