Mind Racing - anyone about?

[MyLeftButt]

I have a sneaking suspicion that after 3 weeks of being utterly depressed, I am flipping into a manic bit.

I did 60 lengths at the swimming pool tonight and still don't feel tired. I also keep seeing things running across the carpet and unless we have a sudden infestation of mice or spiders, I doubt they're there. I could call the crisis team, but I've lent on them quite a bit in the last few days and would feel weird saying "hi, you know I was depressed, well now I can't sleep and feel like I could go out and run a half marathon."

I did get some zopiclone off the psych, but they gave me an utterly vile taste in my mouth and I really don't want to take it. I'm taking everything else as I should be.

I want to go and catch a train to somewhere exciting and go and do things. I keep on thinking it would be a good idea to get a train to the nearest city and go shopping. This would not be a good idea.

Aaaah Fuck this stupid fucking illness and the horse it rode in on.

I would try the zopiclone. Lots of water with it. I know you wake up feeling rough but sleep is better than a bit of a funny taste. I have taken it before so can empathise.

Know the feeling though. Massively understand the wanting to do anything but sleep. Am still up despite hugely stressful week at work and need to be up at 6 for another long day.

Crisis team is worth a shot. They vary from area to area so not sure what your one is like but better to get some help than suffer in silence.

My one is full of lovely people, but I do feel like a pain in the arse. I managed a whole 3 weeks after being discharged to find myself under them again. I've got work tomorrow as well. I don't need to be in until 10, but its now so late I'm not sure if I take the zopiclone I'll be able to get up in the morning.

Do you find that stressful weeks mean you sleep less rather than more? I think the ridiculous hours I did before xmas last year were a big part of my breakdown in Jan.

Stressful weeks definitely equal less sleep although more tired. More adrenaline keeping me going and so hard to switch off. I am overly dependent on alcohol to try and wind down but even that is not working.

You have 10 hours until work and unless you work weekends only Friday to get through so maybe try zopiclone or half a tab.

Good luck. Am thinking of you x

I may well do it. I was hoping I would have wind down by now, but no.

I'm even watching some shit on the TV about chemistry. Desperate times indeed.

I have taken zoplicone tonight, mainly just to stop intrusive thoughts and I know I will asleep eventually. Taste is yuck but I prefer that than the manic thoughts in my head.
You will probably be ok for work, I have no probs with just getting 5-6 hours sleep on it and function reasonably the next day.
Feel your pain though, it's shit :(

I finally got to sleep around 3. I did call the crisis team in the end but the bloke on duty was a bit snotty when I said I'd not been able to get through. When I'd called the no, it went to a fax machine, but he thought it was me complaining about him not answering the phone when it was the number not working.

I'm just exhausted, absolutely exhausted. I've forgotten my work ID card so I can't even go and get a bucket of coffee to see me through.

What's better: going off sick again with the possibility that I'll lose my job, or stay in work with the possibility that I'll lose my head again.

Going off sick is better. They can't get rid of you because you're ill. Poor you. did you survive the day ok?

I did survive the day, but it took a call to the Crisis team part way through as I found it really hard. They were really good at talking me through it all.

They can get rid of me, sadly. They've a long term sickness policy that says if you're unable to return to your substantive post in a "reasonable amount of time" that they will start competency proceedings.

Last night I took the zopiclone and went to bed at 8. I slept from half 8 till half 7 so feel better for it. Its very much a day by day thing at the moment.

Oh no that is appealing re work. Can they really do that- eg dismiss you on mental health grounds? surely that must be illegal?

Glad you got thru day, well done you. No matter you called crisis team. That is what they are there for.

appaling not appealing