Regular but name changed, might be ovbious to some who I am, but just don't want it searchable against my own name iykwim. I don't speak about my food problems on here usually but I need to know if anyone has experienced the same.
History -
Eating issues since childhood
Annorexia nervosa from 14 until 16
bulimia nervosa (binge, vom, lax abuse) 17 until 22
22 until now (late 20s) have had issues with bingeing and over eating.
Been on venlafaxine 150 for about 5 years, helped with mood.
For eating issues have seen psyciatrists, psychologists, counsellors, dietician and for many years. Eating problems had never stopped, just swapped to a different way. Never, ever since I was 14 have I gone longer than a week without some form of eating disordered begaviour (example - skipping meals on purpose, bingeing, vomiting or laxatives) In recent years has been over eating and binge eating. Every single day. I cannot buy a cake because I will eat it all. I cannot stress how much help, support I have had and how much personal effort I have put in to try and get better - read books, forums, written to befrienders from eating disorders association (now beat) spoken to them. This has been relentless for my whole teen/adult life.
3 weeks ago my mood was very low after a traumatic event recently. I went to Dr and was prescribed a higher dose of antidepressant. Since then I have had no binges. No over eating. None. No desire to binge/overeat. I eat and if I am full I stop - even half way through a biscuit.
This has never ever happened in my life before. Even if I had tried I would have got out of bed, fished biscuit out and finished it. I have tried to use so much will power in the past, it never ever worked. I hated myself for it, despised myself that I couldn't do this.
Now a few days after starting this higher dose I have no urges, no temptation at all. If you have had a long term eating disorder youw ill realise how shocking this is. Even if I managed not to have a week without eating disordered behaviour it would be a struggle, I would have had focus 100% on it and claw my way through every hour without doing it.
It has gone, all gone almost over night. I want to cry with relief. Life is so free. Has anyone else had this happen to them? It is so wonderful I want to tell people, I want to phone psyciatrists and tell them to prescribe to ed patients at this dose to see if it helps them too. I never ever thought I would feel so free.