Feeling depressed

[Gloopy]

First time that I have posted, although I have lurked for a while, plucking up courage. Sorry that it's long.

I have two ds's aged 6 and 2.5. I really don't enjoy parenting at all, though I love them both to bits. I am very lonely with no real friends, having moved to the area just before I got pregnant for the first time. I thought that it would be easy to find friends at mother and baby/toddler groups, but it just hasn't happened for me - don't know why - and I am a long way from my old friends.

My two boys are both very challenging characters (maybe because I have probably been depressed since having them? Or maybe they would have been anyway). I'm not down all of the time. I cope. But I never really feel that I can relax and have fun. It is all such hard work. Dh helps out in his own way, but he works long hours, and is tired when he comes home. We have no family close by.

I wasn't diagnosed with pnd with ds1. I was fine just after the birth and I think I felt v. upbeat at the 8 month check - I was just relieved and happy to chat to the hv, and was having a good day - but I think that there was a problem. I realised it when I had ds2, whom I enjoyed much much more. There have been more good times in the last couple of years, but there are a lot of down days too. I just take it a day at a time and try to cope with the necessaries, like Christmas and birthdays to make them fun for the boys. I'm just sooo tired and wish that I could enjoy this all.

Then tonight dh actually said "Gosh you are depressed aren't you?" It sort of hit the nail on the head for me really. I am struggling and think that I might ask for help - so here I am. Any thoughts?

Hi
you sound very similair to me at the moment..I have had severe depression for over 2 yrs causing e to be medically retired from my job etc. I would go and see my gp if I was you, they will probable offer antidepressants but it would also be worth while to see a counsellor in order to try and work out what you want. In terms of friends I am similair I dont have many[if any] real life friends as I find it quite difficult to open up and hold conversations. I can talk about drivel till cows come home but nothing indepth due to self esteem issues so I probably seem like a right bore in real life[and on here..lol]. However I do talk to people online and feel more confident doing this so mumsnet is a good place to start. Maybe have a look under the meetups section so see if there are mums in your area.

Hiya
just to let you know o a good site to get in contact with other parents, dont want to be advertising another site on here, but its netmums. Ive found some excellent friends in my local area (all within 10miles of me). Also look on the cow and gate website, they have a neighbourhood mums site, and again, i have been in contact with some wonderful people.

Hi,
It took me awhile to recognise I was depressed too. My little one was a year and I had a great Dr's support when I 'confessed'. I have been off the tablets 6mths now and am much better, though I have the odd day as most people do.
The one thing I learnt was to make ME time. Fortunately my husband was very supportive and I found something I love to do.. dancing. Once a fortnight I go to a 3 hr workshop here in Asia and I have great fun. My other interest has been meditation, calming the mind was very much needed.
As far as friends: In the last 6 years I have lived abroad twice and now due a rtn to the UK. I am actually nervous about making friends in the UK! Getting to know people where I am is different, everyone wants to make friends and always looks, for every 100 arse holes there is always a star within them :) Much as it is easy to give up I am determined to make friends in England, I know it's not easy just don't give up on it!