Need to vent a bit - feeling quite down and like I am slipping further and further. Have made an appt with a doctor on Weds but not my usual doctor as the next appt was two weeks away.
I have been trying to stay strong for so long and pretty sure that has taken it's toll. But feel like I have to, it's just me living alone and not working because of long term mh problems.
The isolation and quietness is killing me. I recently went to visit my adult son and his family and got so stressed out there although I kept it together outwardly.
I started to feel that I had died inside somehow.
I go for days without talking to anyone. I have a dog who is great. I've cut off from family and am down to one friend. I do voluntary work but have cut the hours because I feel so stressed just being around people.
I'm on meds but just don't know how to go forward. Am getting old and can feel my body wearing out. Really don't like the thought of my future.
I know I need to get a grip but I can't find the will. I'm just in bed day after day. I do have love in me but it's like I've lost sight of it, and just feel bad feelings and negativity.
Am on Trazodone and sleeping pills but think I need another a/d alongside. I've been waiting nearly a year for counselling.
Will stop now - thanks for reading this if you got this far.