Have namechanged, I am a reasonably regular poster but not well known really.
Have finally admitted to myself that I am depressed again.
I haven't seen the GP yet. I have already been there a lot due to an ongoing health problem, that is very real and was diagnosed and treated surgically. It is still giving me problems and the surgeons have been a bit dismissive and said there is nothing more they can do right now. So at some point if it keeps giving me trouble I will need to go back to the GP about that, and maybe push for a second opinion, but I am worried in the meantime if I go back and say I'm depressed noone will take me seriously wrt that.
So referred myself to depression and anxiety service. Just felt they would be more geared up for this kind of thing. Hate having that first conversation, and it is even worse when you know the GP is watching their watch. They can't prescribe obviously. On waiting list for counselling. Could have got CBT but I just feel there are a lot of things from the past taht keep resurfacing that I need to sort out in my head.
Have also finally decided in my head that I may need to go back on the meds. Found my old stash of fluoxetine that I stopped taking when I fell pg with dd, and have taken one today. I know I will need to go back to the GP and get more at some point and it is a bit naughty, but I cross that bridge when it comes to it.
Not sure why I am posting really. I have a very stressful/busy family and work life so I don't want to give in to this really. Guess I just wanted to get it off my chest. And maybe have a bit of hand holding when those inevitable initial side effects kick in!