Need to get it off my chest.

[workingmumnhs]

I woke up last weekend and couldn't stop crying. I was shaking like a leaf and VERY emotional.

A bit of background.

I had an affair last summer. It all finished in January and I have been trying to make things work between DP and I but it isn't happening. I haven't cried or showed any emotion as DP would see it as a sign of weakness and admission of feelings for the other man. I think it all got to me. My mums says I should go and see a doctor and get some pills but I don't want that to happen. I work in a hospital and KNOW that everything gets recorded. I can't risk anyone knowing that I couldn't cope.

A man shouldn't make me feel this way.

At times I feel as tho I could do it if I tried a bit harder, but the next day I don't want to try.

I am trying to find alternative housing but the waiting list is long and I can't afford private rent. Fear I'll go mad b4 the council can house me.

I think you should go see your GP. Yes everything gets recorded, but it is confidential. And work does not have to know (although sometimes it can help if they do).

Good luck x

I sympathise with you, it must be difficult of you have feelings for someone and have to shut it all away and not be sad and I am sorry it is not working with your dp. Hope you feel better soon, would your doctor knowing that you were feeling down really be that awful? as maybe you could get some help if you do to your doctor.

Maybe the Gp could help. Maybe I'm being a snob but part of me feels if I go there then I am admitting there is a problem i can't sort out on my own.

Scared i'll get hooked on anti depressant. I took some from work but havem't taken any of them yet.

Haven't been happy with DP for a long time. The affair wouldn't have happened if I was. I need to do something aboutit now.

The antidepressants may help, but you also need to sort out the cause. If you're not happy at home you need to do something about that. Sometimes you have to look after number one. And you won't be doing dh any favours either the way things are.

I know but MIL threatens to stop child minding if I leave. Which isn't fair. but what can i do.

It took me 5months to admit i had PND to myself, let alone the doctors. try st johns wart, but be careful, it can effect some contraceptives (sp). Im now on anti-d's and it does help me.
Would you be interested in trying relate or something like that?

Good luck

a childminedr is not a good enough reason to stay

I know. She can't blackmail me into it. I did think about RElate but now I'm not sure I want to save it. I think I just want to get out. The man I had the affair with is willing to let us live with him but I'm not sure it is the best idea. I do still like him but I don't need the bitchiness infront of DD. I don't really want to jump from one relationship straight into another.
It would save on the rent issue tho

Sorry you are having such a rough time but you cant go taking drugs from work, that is a complete NO NO.
Get some from your GP and take them as prescribed properly.
I work for the NHS and im on antidepressants and NOT a soul knows about it at work, not a soul.
I bet there are many others at work on them too, but who is to know?
Try talking to the GP, explain your situation and keep an open mind.
It takes courage hun to accept that you need help but it sounds like you do.
If you were diabetic you would have no problem taking pills, dont risk your job by continuing the way you are, please, if you are found out about taking pills from work you will be sacked no question.
Good luck hun, you can always come on here to off load.