Where does it all end...

[FedUpWithItAll]

Changed my name for this no because i am ashamed but because family/friends may be reading.

I am feeling totally down about everything, i wake up everyday & think to myself "here we go again" its a crap way to be thinking.

I am trying so so hard to not feel like this but i feel that things are missing from my life. I am bored, fed up & don't know what to do.

I keep taking it all out on DH but some of it i think he is responsible for, we have 2 beautiful children (which are the light of my life) but i feel all the "being a parent" thing is totally down to me. I feel i am a single parent sometimes & me & DH are constantly rowing over this because i am always moaning about it. DH works full time & i am a SAHM i do all the cooking, cleaning, washing, kids food, kids baths,night feed for DD, kids school, shooping, cleaning the car out,all DIY round the house the lot, i just feel that DH thinks because he works full time 7am till 5.30pm 5 days a week, he does not have to do anything else apart from work & play, he has one hobby which he likes to play whenever he gets the chance, which i dont mind but i feel he should also do more with he kids. Am i right in trying to kick him up the arse to help me out or should i be doing all this on my own? does anyone else do all these? i dont know what to think anymore

Along with all this i hate where we live i hate the house we live in so that makes me quite unhappy too.

I also do not like DH's family i can not stand his sister at all & really do never want to visit them ever again, there is things i feel very strongly about what they do & after a good old 7 years its now taken it toll & i can not be bothered anymore, his sister tried to cross me & i tell you what it is the last thing she ought to be doing.

I feel total anger inside, i cry most nights & also wonder how i got to this stage in my life?

The only thing i know is right in my life right now is my children i adore them, they keep me smiling through the day but as soon as they are in bed my world falls apart,i have no point to my life i feel & i also question why it is like this? I am quite happy just here living for my kids thank god i have them as i have nothing else.

Sorry i know its a long rant & if you have got this far thank you for listening to me, i really need to write this down & get it off my chest.

Sorry to hear how unhappy you are.

I think you need to sort out one thing at a time. Maybe start with the house bit. Once you get one bit sorted, it's a step in the right direction towards feeling more positive. Trust me. I've been there.

does DH know about all this. Tell him you feel so alone

Maybe he will help you out. Maybe he doesn't know how you feel

I only wish he did not know about all this but yes he does, he says to me he will change & help out more then after a few hrs he is back to being his same old self again.

I love him dearly but just feel he sits back & watches me struggling until i finally flip then he decides to do something about it.

I am thinking about the housing front would really like to move out of this town but can't because DH's job is here.

Your DH sounds like my DP

He was exactly the same. Then I met another man who was the opposite. (Didn't care if DD split OJ on the carpet, didn't moanabout the housework not being done and knew how to do it himself.) He flattered me andmade me feel gorgeous. I ended up in an affair but whenever it came down to leaving DP I chickened out and stayed with him and denied i had any feelings for other.

Now I am in a relationship I don't want to be in and know there is someone else out there how can make me happier but I can't make the break. I too am looking for alternative housing but DP knows nothing about it. At times I feel just like you and it is nice to know that I am not alone. I'm here if you ever want to talk.

Oh don't get me wrong DH does not push me to do these things he would be quite happy to sit in his own shit, but i feel that having kids & being a mother you should respect your home & look after it, i just also feel that he should help out more than he does, he is in no way controlling me & telling me i have to do these things just i feel when we decided we wanted to be parent & have kids it would be a shared job, i understand because i am SAHM i should do everything in the week but not all weekend too, where is my break in life?

Thanks for the offer on talking, i hope your ok ?