I am having a bit of a stressful time at the moment and have just cried because a) someone didn't move when I said excuse me so had to push past them and b) I had told the school I had noticed ss2 had nits and had used a nitty gritty comb that morning, only for me to pick him up and them say he's got nits (duh I told you that!). I can't see any though but obviously will keep combing for the next week. I am nearly having panic attacks when I see the house is dirty. The corners of the window sills are a bit black from dust/dirt and I want to cry about it. I feel overwhelmed every day. Dd1 had her first day at a new school and her dad made her late, I was at work and it was out of my control, I broke down in tears about it! Is this normal? I know I am stressed but have never really understood when do people know that they need help? Is it just when you can't get out of bed?
The big things in my life are having 5 kids under 6 to look after, 2 are my stepsons who don't see their BM. I still BF my 23 month old. I started back at uni this week after taking two years out, about to do my last year of the degree. We moved a year ago and I'm doing the house up still, so it is not up to standard.
My OH took over a business a few months ago, it is not performing very well as the last person run it into the ground. I had been working 70-80 hours a week to cover OH's loss of earnings (doing nights, evenings and mornings) but have dropped to 35 hours a week as now doing a full time degree involving placements. He has completely wrecked his work van which cost us 18k, has in 3 months gained a speeding fine, got one insurance claim which he denied until I had a man shouting at me on the phone and I had to sort out. Same man had reported OH to the police so we then had threats from police of being charged with various things (this is sorted now, nothing come of it). Two days ago my OH was assaulted by another man whose car he clipped. He was dragged out of the van, screamed at and kicked in the chest. Witnesses wouldn't get involved as the man has a reputation. I googled him and he has been in prison for killing someone amongst other things like burglary, GBH. I am scared he is going to track down where we live and hurt my children, the witness said do as your told re:insurance, dont report to police or he will burn your van out and rob you. I feel so sick and scared.
Oh helps a bit round the house, he does the washing up and sweeps but anything more then that doesn't cross his mind (washing, ironing, dusting etc). Things are tough between us which I knew they would be whilst we took over the business but this is far harder then I thought it would be and I am beginning to resent him (because of the accidents and state of the van, not for not earning money as he is trying).
Well done if you read this far! Think I needed to tell someone everything that's been happening. So what I really want to know is if this was your life and felt how i do, do you think you would just get on with it or need help? I don't know what to do. My children got their new childminder to buy me flowers as they want mummy to stop crying all the time. I was mortified.