How do you cope with hurtful questions / comments?

[WednesdayNext]

I was diagnosed with postnatal depression and ptsd several months ago. I am currently off work on a sick note, having been too unwell to go back at the moment. I feel as though I am constantly having to defend this and get asked a lot of personal and sometimes very hurtful questions, eg: How are you, you don't look ill? Why aren't you getting better? How come you can manage to do baby group/evening out/day trip etc but not come back to work? And my most hated one - How do you feel in yourself? As well as comments like "you need to come back to prove to people you can do it", "everyone has bad days, you just have to get on with them", "you should just get over it and come back now", "you have to let it go", and "at least you have DS to show for it" and so on... How do you deal with this? And how can you get people to understand that it isn't that simple (without resorting to violence or swearing )

Ah so sorry you are having to put up with all this, but I'm afraid there are very few people in society who understand mental illness. Indeed I think that only people who have/are suffering from mental illness (of whatever kind) can realy understand it.
Are managers asking you these questions, or just friends. If you are being phoned/contacted by managers, then if you are in a Union you should get their support. Managers have no right to employ such tactics.

I can empathise with you over all those ridiculous comments especially "how do you feel in yourself...........aaaaaaaaaaargh. I don't know how you deal with it from friends and colleagues. Maybe just tell them that mental illness is difficult to understand even though it is very common (1 in 4 suffering at some point in their lives) and it is even more difficult to explain the emotional distress that these illnesses cause. You have 2 quite serious mental health issues and I'm guessing it could be sometime before you are fit for work.

Are you able to say what kind of work you do. Sometimes companies have an occupational health doctor, who is supposed to be an independent dr who confirms (or not) that you are unfit for work, though how enlightened they would be about about mental health is anyone's guess.

I suffered a major depressive episode 2 years ago and haven't made a complete recovery, with intermittent depression and anxiety and I have a list of the comments that some people make. Fortunately I am retired and have friends who do have some understanding of mental illness, but I think it defies description in a way.

Take care and you never know, some of these daft people may one day be sufferers themselves...............

Thanks for the reply Nana! They're friends. Managers have been in touch with me, but they are trying to be helpful by changing their procedures slightly to make things easier for me. The thing is, one of the friends who is constantly making these comments should understand mental illness a bit better as a close family member of theirs has been suffering from MH issues recently. I've tried to explain the practicalities that prevent me from "just getting on with it" and that she only sees me for an hour or so every now and then, which isn't a very good representation of what I'm like all the time. I provide training and support to staff - I can't really say more than that. I'm sorry to hear that you've suffered mental illness too, and the questions that come with it! Thank you for your reply