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Mental health

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FIL's mental health

2 replies

rounynotsquary · 11/09/2012 11:38

FIL has told us, (me in fact, but saying it was info to share with dh), that he is suffering from stress and depression and that he is getting help from his gp and a carers group (he cares for MIL). We see them about once a month - they are a couple of hours drive away. He is a very quiet and rather odd man, he likes to say hello for half an hour then disappear up to his study to play on the computer, or will stop a conversation halfway through and put the tv on then ignore you.

Anyway he said MIL was not to be told about this in any circumstances.

Presumably he is telling us as a cry for help. What should we do. My DH is reticent talking about feelings but I told him he needs to go out for a walk or drive with his dad when we see them next and I will stay with MIL or baby.

Also we won't tell MIL but I do not feel comfortable keeping secrets. I would not from DH and we have an agreement that if ever asked to keep something from each other by our parents we would just say no, that we tell each other everything.

I'll post this in relationships too as I am not sure how often this board is visited.

OP posts:
KeemaNaanAndCurryOn · 11/09/2012 12:34

It seems as if he's getting help himself from his GP and support group, but wanted someone in the family to know and maybe offer some help.

Caring for someone full time, regardless of who it is, is hard work.

Offer to look after Mil so he can go out, or take him out somewhere to give him a break, and let him know that if he ever wants to talk then you and your DH are there to listen.

KeemaNaanAndCurryOn · 11/09/2012 12:35

Oh, and respect his wishes WRT telling his wife. Sometimes it takes a lot to tell even the people you love that there is a problem and he probably doesn't want to worry or upset her.

You may not keep things from your DH, but the decision isn't yours to take.

Out of interest when I was ill, I kept DH out of it for a long time until I was ready to discuss it.

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