how can I tell if its just my ilness or if DH and I are falling apart....

[MrsMc82]

So background re my MH issues......
I came of citalopram (sp) a month ago (after gradual reduction of my dose) but on friday admitted I'm struggling again and have been prescribed Fluox-whatsit (prozac)........
I'd been on ADs since sept 2010 for PND tried coming off at xmas got to 5mg per day and had to go back onto 20mg a day after I couldn't cope......
This time I completely stopped a month after taking 6 weeks or so to reduce my doseage ago, but over last couple weeks maybe more feel horribly irritable, like everything I do is hard work even

still not 100% sure if its just cos life is hard sometimes or if I really am ill again - I'm potty training DS (2.5yo which he's doing well with) and he's soooooo defiant at the moment and he igornore everything I say - but he's 2 and that's what 2yo do isn't it?.........
An DH is just sooooooo annoying, we argue most days and if I am totally honest it cos of me picking a fight......he doesn't help matters as he's not amazingly patient but who would be in his situation?
last night we argued about him not being organised enough to remember to take cash with him to the christening we went to - I found it intensely irritating that after me asking 3 times if he has cash we got to the village cricket club and he couldn't go to the bar because he's assumed they'd take cards.......... So instead of something being simple he had to leave me and ds at the do and go get cash....... Last night we talked and talked and talked and we agreed that if he's agreed to take DS ogf my hands for some reason ie so I can get a shower and dressed for work in peace that he wouyldn't bother me by asking what he was meant to do with DS - this morning he made a big fuss of saying 'let's let mummy get dressed in peace' and then he asked me what he should put DS in for nursery........ It would be much easier for me to just sort me and DS out on my own if I hv to instruct DH on how to do it........ In fact I'm so tired of arguing and empty promises that I feel like leaving DH and going off and living with DS on my own, I can manage perfectly well without DH's help so what's the point in staying and arguing contantly? But I do I really feel like this or is it cos I'm ill again?

in preparation for going to the Drs I did the goldberg questionaire as a way to check I wasn't just making a fuss.....and was shocked at coming out with a moderate score even with conservative answers......

I'm feeling at a loss to know what to do, I'm tired of arguing, I just want to feel like myself again and be happy and look after DS the best I can

I've not gone to work today as so tired but I can't settle so am still exhausted......

Sorry this is so long and prob makes no sense at all.....

Bump

tbh,I dont know either
am partly bumping for you
I suspect the problem may be both issues,though would not go so far as to say your marriage is falling apart.
You dont feel yourself which is probably a good indicator that a visit to the GP is a good idea.
And not feeling yourself is bound to impact on other things.
I remember the potty training stage well,hated it and it managed to irritate me so much that I gave that particular job to my DH to do.Did exactly what he said,because I had had enough of it.
Could you give DH written instructions of things to do so in general so that he can refer to the piece of paper when needed.Some DHs need more training than others!
Also, I would try not to pick a fight with DH.You may need him emotionally even if he isnt currently much cop in practical ways.

If it's any consolation we drove to theme park, only to find we had no money and couldn't go in! Similar circumstances to you.

What you describe echos how I was with my husband a few months ago. I was so irritated by everything he did. I basically told him to go and live at our old house (empty at the time) for all the use he was to me. I think it's the illness and it's hard for everyone involved.

That was just before I got put on AD's, after I just became indifferent towards him an couldn't be bothered to converse. He was an excellent dad tho, the kids wore strange things and ate at the wrong times but were loved and cared for (and happy). Whilst I was a little detached.

Recently things have normalised some what and we've had some good times.But I'm slipping again and my mental state is not as good. I'm isolating myself more and not talking to him but I'm not worried about my marriage.

I think it's hard for them (husbands) as they are so used to us being in control. Perhaps he does not have the confidence to do things off his own back. Maybe let him do things his way, not ideal I know but you will have some peace. As previously suggested write a (short) list of activities, food, clothes options, just to give him a head start.

Hope you feel like your old self soon.

Thanks amillion and winks some great advice..... I do remember feeling quiteindifferent to Dh when first went on ads 2yrs ago... I feel better this eve.... V anxious abt work tomorrow and need to sleep but less despairing of dh and calmer..... Just can't wait to feel like old self again..... Ifineed medd to feel normal tensi bit it..... Had good chat explained that the stuff iask of him is to help me stay calm and manage my anxiety not just cos am awkward cow.... But no surprise he doesn't want to think for himself cos poorbloke gets shot down any time he does...... I'm very lucky that he's made ofstrong stuff and understands that I don't actually wanthim to leave...... Thanks for replies x

How are you doing today? Also this "But no surprise he doesn't want to think for himself cos poorbloke gets shot down any time he does" sounds a lot like the "before" picture from FlyLady... (I'm not saying that you're not ill! Just that she might help you let go a bit...)

With the whole "what clothes do i give the boy" question, my DH would get the answer "whatever you pick, dear". Then a bitten toungue (mine) if the outfit was... strange.

Recognising when it's you talking and when your dissease is puttuing ideas into your head is a good start.

Also, on the potty trianing: maybe just give it up for the moment, and try again later? It sounds like you have enough on your plate!

Hello MrsMuddy am better today I think, well not totally better but calmer kind of, still very fragile, was back at work today didn't get much done as wasn't really able to focus but as far as DH and I are concerned much better, had good nights sleep and normal morning - even 'let' DH dress ds in whatever he fancied....and he didn't ask..... Think twitchyness today could be from going back on the ADs I've had them made me a bit edgy or a week or so at start of a course before......

Not sure what FlyLady is