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chucked out of a 12 step meeting

2 replies

chuckedout · 09/09/2012 14:49

for not being addicted enough.

It is a dual addiction group ie substance addiction as well as mental health dx. imo I qualify for both and was relieved to have found a fellowship that addressed both.

I went 2 weeks ago and blethered a bit. It also turned out I knew one of the members socially - a distant connection but clear ie I know his children (and he knows mine) and I have socialised with him and his wife a few times. We both look different and it took me a while to realise who he was. I was uncomfortable that I knew him socially, perhaps he was uncomfortable too, but you rely on the strict confidentiality culture of 12 step meetings in a situation like that.

I saw this guy as I was pulling up and stuck my head out the window, smiled. He was a bit grim back but I don't ever take that sort of thing personally - he could be having a bad day. I went into the kitchen to make a drink and they rounded on me really, saying it wasn't personal but they didn't think I qualified for the group. They didn't discuss it with me, just presented it as fact, that they didn't want me there. They were not interested to hear what I had to say, there was no forum to discuss. One woman said a few times that it wasn't personal but I can't honestly see how it isn't. It didn't stop me from protesting that I am qualified to be there. Ironic really, when you spend your entire 'normal' life playing down your issues! They wouldn't hear it and cut me off.

As it happens, I'm having a spectacularly bad time and that meeting was a warm spot on my calendar. I was looking forward to it.

OP posts:
sparklekitty · 11/09/2012 13:15

Jeeze, how crappy and unsupportive! Sometime these kind of groups can turn into a 'whose the most addicted/got the worst dx' etc. Sounds like they're not the most helpful bunch and you're better off not going. Are there any other groups local to you? I found my group therapy (not a 12 step program but therapeutic group) via my gp, could that be worth a try?

Helpyourself · 11/09/2012 18:57

Sad that's outrageous.
OP if you're in London PM and I'll take you to an AA meeting. Even if alcohol isn't your problem you'll find lots of support- many are struggling with MH issues as well as addiction. If you're not in London and would like to PM me anyway please do!

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