Is this pn depression?

[NameChanger321]

Or will I feel like this forever?

I have 3 dc. We tried for a year for dc3 and, just as I found out I was pg, dh got cold feet. Our other dc were then 4 and 2 and becoming easier. We had many tearful discussions about our options. I went on to have dc 3 who is now 16 months and the easiest, loveliest baby you could want.

Recently though I have really started to feel negative about his presence in our family. I go over and over it in my head, we had 2 beautiful happy healthy dc, what on earth have I done. They adore him but he doesn't want or need the same things they do. Taxis cost more, holidays will cost more in future, hotel rooms etc etc. life seems to focus on the 2 adult 2 dc families.

I look at his toys, nappies, cot and think "if only we didn't have dc3 we could get rid of all of this"

DH is aware of how I feel and is being very supportive. He's taken akk 3 out for the day to give me some space. It's a glorious day outside and I just want to crawl into bed and cry. Can't stop crying.

Any advice gratefully received.

Maybe have a word with your HV. You know, those thoughts are OK, im sure your love him very much, but toddlers are hard work and like you say, he is not of an age yet that the other two will really get much out of him in terms of play, but it will come and it wont be too long either. Don't beat yourself up over this. You said yourself, your other two were 4 and 2 and getting easier - DS will start to get easier soon, start playing with his brother and sister and you will be so glad that you have your little family, just as it is :)

I don't know if its PND or not, but it is certainly worth investigating, if you are feeling so low. Its really good that your DH is supportive, that is worth so much. Don't be scared to ask for help, if your HV is a dragon (mine was) talk to your GP or a doctor who you are comfy with, and ask, help is out there. Do you get out to toddler groups much? maybe try and befriend other people with three children (or more!!) and then it will feel more "normal" to you. If that makes sense.

Thanks 2girls. I have an appt with my gp on tues for something else but think I will mention it to her.

What you describe is very much like I felt with PND.

I've had excellent support from health visitor and GP and have been taking anti depressants for 6 weeks bow and feel back to my normal self - I'll also be going to counselling at the end of this month.

I hope you'll get some help and support. It can be treated.