My dp is having a relationship with at least one other person if not more. I am putting up and shutting up for various reasons. I am getting to the point where I hate myself for being such a doormat but don’t know how to stop. We used to live together now we don’t - don’t really want to go into too much detail (get paranoid that someone might recognise me/us!!) We have been together for over 10 years and he stills sends me lovely emails and texts and I get the most gushy cards for Christmas/Birthdays but his actions do not correspond. I am scared of my dp’s anger it fills me with dread – he is not physically abusive but can be very abusive verbally especially if he is feeling defensive which is why I don’t talk to him about anything.
My main problem is that I am finding it very difficult to hide my feelings of sadness in front of my children although I don’t ever say anything bad about their father in front of them. Is there anyone out there that has been in a similar situation or is going through the same and has come out the other side. I know that I should talk to him but I am just not able to I keep thinking that maybe one day he will get sick of leading a double life and will want to talk to me about it but I feel that all my life is run by his agenda. What makes it worse at the moment my best and oldest friend is also having an affair so I no longer feel able to share my feelings with her. Don’t know what to do !!!!!!!!!!!!!!