Undiagnosed Bipolar

[Jazzicatz]

Hi all, I wonder if you could offer some advice. I have a dear friend who I believe is suffering from bipolar. He is currently having an 'episode' that has included delusions - he believes only he is right; he has spent lots of money on rubbish tat; he has embarked upon an affair; drinking heavily and having serious relationship problems. All of this has got progressively more severe over the past few weeks, and culminated in him saying he is going to leave his partner and leave his job. Family and friends have suggested that maybe he should go to the doctor, to which he gets very angry and says he will cease their relationship.

I really want to help him but unsure what to do, I can see he is very ill but will not acknowledge it. How should I approach this without making him very angry?

I lived with a bipolar man for 15 years - undiagnosed for the first seven years.

You need to pick your time.

While he's on a "high" he isn't going to be receptive and is unlikely to see that anything is wrong.

Once he starts to come down and realise the negatives he's got hsepf into, he is far far more likely to see the negative effects if his behaviour (on himself and others) and will be more likely to listen to someone gently supportive suggesting a visit to the GP. Could you also go with him?

I finally got my ex to go back by waiting he had come down from a difficult episode and explaining that if he refused to get treatment, I would be leaving because I couldn't live with it.

It's impossible to have a rational conversation with someone in the middle if a bipolar high.

Thank you for your reply.

May I ask Hairy, is the reason he is your ex is because of the Bipolar?

Yes it is at least in part. He was a social recluse and very difficult to live with. His bipolar was characterised by long depressive episodes.

I totally agree with hairy. I'm bipolar (II - so not as sever with the highs) and I totally wouldn't take any advice when I was high. You need to wait until he comes down again and the reality of the mistakes he's made start kicking in, that's the time to get in I reckon.

Good luck hun x

Thank you both for your advice. As far as I can see, he suffers more with really bad highs; the lows are less severe. I am worried for him at the moment because he is delusional and making lots of decisions during this time, which will be difficult to reverse. But you are both right that now is not the time to confront him, maybe just try and steer!

If he is delusional/psychotic you should call the police, or emergency GP.

He isn't severe enough to call the police, he is still functioning up to a point. I hope for he and his family he comes down from this current high!

He'll never listen while he's high. Things just make complete sense when you're high and it drives you up the wall when other people don't understand your logic. Is he married? If he is delusional his DW should ask their GP practice for advice.

Could you get a community mental health person to visit at home?

I would contact his doctor, if he were a friend of mine. If he's making decisions that will have a huge impact on his life (eg financially) then he needs you to act as a true friend and talk to his doctor.