I feel like I'm being driven mad by the need to be perfect, the pressure each day is getting so much, and I wake in the night planning how I can deal with all the things I need to do that day.
The things that stress me are:
*my weight - recently gained half a stone, when really I 'm trying to lose a stone (have been on 1000 diets/exercise plans since I was a teenager, I'm 45 now) Of course - when I'm stressed, I eat more.
*work - I have 2 p/t jobs, both with a lot of responsibility - one in particular will be really hard the next 2 months due to a new type of workload - maybe I'll manage it ok, but I'm scared I won't.
*my house - it's clean and tidy, but looks faded and dated now compared to houses I see on TV/in newspapers. It needs some external work doing to brighten it up, I can't afford that just now, so it presents a bad first impression, which makes me sad.
I make "to do" lists to sort out my day, stop me forgetting things, and give me motivation to complete everything, but instead of being a usefool tool it just feels like more pressure - I don't know how to get stuff done without having a list to work to.
On the plus side - dh and dc are lovely, I don't have relationship troubles. dh is a list-maker too, a high achiever, so I guess we're 2 of a kind. He does understand how I feel, but he can't get inside my head and get me to calm down.
Should I go to the doctor and ask for prozac? - I took it 10 years ago for binge-eating, and had CBT then too. I'm struggling to use CBT techniques as I'm just so much on the hamster-wheel at the moment. How do I calm down, and learn to enjoy life rather than being scared of every challenge that faces me? (sorry)