anyone there to handhold?

[whitewineinthesun]

can't live this life. can't end it.
need abit of handholding for a minute or two.
have namechanged.

Jeez, if your ex has done all that it's evil .

Does he have serious mental health problems because to me, those are the actions of someone who is not in control at all?

One thing whitewine - in the midst of what feels like a maelstrom, you must hold on, you know you must, for yourself and your children, who I am sure love you very very much.

it IS evil, just. and very, very frightening. i am sure he has a personality disorder, but presents as charming, intelligent etc. the Ian Brady prog the other night reminded me of him (NOT that i am for a minute suggesting the xp would harm kids. just me.)
btw, xp is not xH (aka Disney Dad). don't want to mislead anyone.
my closest friends know how i've been feeling, and have been fantastic. but it's such a struggle. i can't be strong all the time, but i can't see any light at the end of the tunnel. surely if anyone has a right to throw in the towel it's me?
DS has issues himself. i have seen CAMHS, but they can't do anything for him as they say i am doing everything right. but he attacks me - and he is only getting stronger. i think that one day he will seriously hurt me (he has already bruised my ribs a few months ago by kicking me.)

thank you Ivana.
I'm really tired too, and am going to try and sleep.
thank you everyone for all your concern and handholding. it really helps me.

The anonymous stuff which has led to you losing your job is truly awful . Does xp have mental health problems because it seems as though he is trying to 'break' you? DON'T LET HIM. Get your armour on - support network of friends and GP and any other support out there (GP and counselling service should be able to suggest). I think emergency appointment with GP needed. What you are experiencing will naturally be unsettling for the children, but with support you can rebuild your mental strength and coping mechanisms .

Night night, will check in on you tomorrow

Oops I double posted similar message because didn't think my original one came up - sorry if confusing!

Night x