coping with the stress of parenting

[Bex37]

I have 3 kids aged 13, 11 and 9. Ive been diagnosed with recurrent depressive disorder and I find it really hard to cope with the stress of demanding kids but particularly sibling rivalry and their constant outbursts. Any suggestions on how to develope coping strategies and what really works? Please this illness is ruling my life and has been for the past 13 years, even my work is effected by it.

Hi, I do not have your disorder although I am diagnosed OCD and have bad days. My sister is bipolar and has bad bipolar days. As today is a bad emotional day for me, I am using the following coping strategies to get through - I hope they will help you.

1. Recognise/acknowledge the bad day/state of mind for what it is. Its a bad day. Positively reinforce in your mind that this is not the day to do everything perfectly or to beat yourself up over things that aren't perfect (e.g.. house is a mess, child didn't eat much lunch etc). You've been here before and tomorrow is a new day that will be different. You will be okay so rather than solve everything you need to, just focus on the fact that tomorrow will be better.
2. Step outside of the room. It will be difficult to cope with the demands of being a parent. When you feel your despair building because of crying/behaviour etc, step just outside of the room and breathe (just suggesting a step out the room within eyesight of the kids, not leaving your kids all alone). Don't allow the despair to manifest itself in your behaviour. I find catching it earlier is easier.
3. Reach out. Find the time to talk to someone you trust - and I'm not saying go and sit on the phone and tell them all about your mood. I am suggesting you phone a loved one and ask about their day and not even mention your bad day. Listening to them will make you focus on something else. The familiarity of their voice will be comforting.

As I'm writing this my house is a big mess, the dinner's not cooked but I am feeling so much better than I was. I hope you are okay.

Thanks I'll definately give it a try , yes today really is a bad day that seems to be getting worse :((

Hi Bex, my children are similar age so I know how hard it must be for you. I get very stressed by their arguments with each other so I can sympathise. Do the two older ones know about your diagnosis or not? I know it can be hard to decide what to tell them sometimes. But whatever you decide they need to pull together to help YOU, they are at an age to realise it should not be all GIVE or your side and TAKE on their side.

Have you got any ways of having a break from them and some time for yourself? Sorry I don't have more advice than this right now.

I hope things improve for you.Take care.

Thanks senses,
Finally someone who understands me , I've felt so alone with this .