Hi
Sorry for the late response - I've been giving thought to your answers.
amillionyears: this was the most difficult question for me to face up to. No, I'm not really in control. I am disorganized, and find it easier to put things off, go to the gym, meet friends for lunch rather than get organised at home. I go through periods of being super organized: preparing dinners in advance, baking, giving the kids plenty of quality time doing arts and crafts. I control my diet etc., and everything feels as if it should be, then BANG. I lose the control and head in a downward spiral. Everything is all over the place, and I'm months before I can sort it out again. Granted, as I get older (and probably with the help of the AD's), the periods between these times are growing less.
Nananina: I KNOW my habits are off the scale, but maybe not as bad as I have made out. I'll list each and explain as I go:
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Emotional overeater: This is probably my biggest problem. As I become increasingly aware of it, I see how bad the problem is. The other day, I was putting the children down (DH was at work). The house was a mess, the dinner dishes hadnt been put away, I had been out all day entertaining them and I wanted to get it all tidied before I went to bed. Anyway, the kids wouldnt go down, and were giving me a lot of grief. In the end, after 2 hours, I left the room in anger and frustration, and the first thing I did was run into the kitchen and shove a cupcake in my mouth (before I lit a fag, or reached for the wine!). I heard a noise and turned round to see my daughter standing there. It was that 'scene' that shocked me and made me realise more than ever what a problem it is.
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Overspending: This is a problem that I inherited from my father. He LOVED to go shopping. He worked abroad and when he came home, he would take me out on a big shopping trip just him and I. As I grew older, he would use the shopping trips to apologise for any misdemeanors: a couple of DV episodes with my mother, a few times he went for me for minor reasons. My dad was an alcoholic, and obviously bipolar (although neither were ever diagnosed as far as I know). I say WAS because he dropped dead of a heart attack when I was 15 in the middle of my GCSEs. This is something that took me over 15 years to get over, and now, I think back to my childhood, and dont really feel anything more than intense dislike for him.
I went to a private school, and the thing I always remember, in particular, was going into town with the girls from school. They always had money for Big Mac meals, whereas I would only have enough to buy a hamburger meal. It is something that has always stayed with me. I guess I felt inferior for this reason, and they probably came from wealthier families than mine - which was a problem at the time. Nowadays, my spending is better that it ever has been, but I can go a month or so without buying STUFF, then it's like I self implode and I have to go and get something - no matter how big or small. Afterwards, I come out of the shop and have a cigarette to help calm the rush. It's awful! I spend almost £400/week on family outgoings (household, activities, lunches etc.,) which is WAY too much. We can afford it, but save little. Imagine the amount of money we could save if I could live on under a £100/week like many people do. I dont NEED to spend this amount (Also note that the country I live in is very expensive compared to the UK, so you are going to spend maybe 30% more). I've tried shopping lists, going to cheaper supermarkets, cutting down on eating out and I still can't seem to get it down 
3)Overdrinking: I certainly think that this has more to do with boredom than anything. I try not to drink during the week, but if there is booze in the fridge, then I WILL drink it, so I just dont buy it in. I would say, that I drink about 3 bottles of wine through out the course of a week(end), maybe 2. That seems quite bad, just looking at it. I DO like a drink - but HATE getting drunk, and I dont touch spirits....
- Smoking: It is so unpc that I tend not to smoke during the day, so when I say I over smoke, what I really mean is that I SMOKE. I go through a pack of 20 about every 3 days. I dont know if this is excessive (I dont think so), but I do think that its bad enough that I smoke, no matter how much.
So Nananina, you have given me A LOT of food for thought (boom boom). And yes, I cant get help purely because of the language barrier. There may be people in the expat community here, but it is a VERY small community with lots of gossip - not really viable.
Showtime: I will have a look, thank you.
Salbertina: I'll come on over when I have some free time later in the week.
Thanks to all those who responded! Great practical ideas.
Bettyx