Seeing a councillor, what to expect???

[lilygoodtime]

I saw my gp earlier this week as i have been feeling down for many months now, She said i had mild/moderate depression and that i should see a councillor.

The thing is i dont really understand what will happen or what to say.

Nothing major has happened in my life ie i have not suffered any physical or mental abuse. i am not suicidal or harming myself.

I am just finding everyday life hard and feel hopeless, a rubbish mum,partner,daughter. feel bad about myself the way i look, they way i am frightened of everything low self worth.

But i feel like i might sound pathetic and be wasting the councillors time.

What i am really asking is what is councilling like? and does it sound like i would be wasting their time?

No, you won't be. They'll have seen many, many just like you and will be able to help you discover why it is you are feeling down since there's nothing too obvious.

Being depressed when you have something to be depressed about is easier to deal with in some ways. It's when you're depressed for "no" reason you really should be seeking help!

Thank you for your reply tin tin.

I just think my reasons for feeling depressed sound trivial compaired to some and just didnt want to be wasting there time.

I do need to feel better though as i feel like i am letting my ds's down at the moment.

Honestly, that's how people who feel depressed feel.

You do deserve help. You do.

There will be no doubt in your therapist's mind of this - it's exactly what he/she is trained to do.

I guess if you wanted to help people depressed by an event - divorce or death or abuse or whatever - you would specialise in trauma counselling. The sort of counsellor you are seeing though will he the sort that's interested in just the sort of issues you are having.

I'm so, so sorry you are down. Please remember lots and lots of people feel exactly as you do - and can't work out why they feel that way. And feel guilty about it. It's OK to feel like that and OK to talk to someone about it.

Get as much out if the counselling experience as you can by being open and honest and working at it. And if you don't like your counsellor keep trying until you find one you do, it will make a huge difference.

Good luck and PM me at any time x

X

Oh my lord I just wrote a huge reply and it failed to post and got wiped - grrrr.

I have to sleep now but will post tomorrow in more detail. In the meantime, be assured what you are feeling is OK, and every counsellor will be well trained to work through it with you.

Yes, people have worse issues than you - but that doesn't negate your feelings. Your feelings are valid.

Xxx

Oh - both messages did post. Bloody technology!!!

Thankyou for your reply i read it very quicky this morning before i left for work and i had a good day today.

Your message lifted my mood and made me feel a little more positive about seeing a councillor and that i wont be wasting their time.

Thankyou once again and have you ever thought of being a councillor yourself, i think you would be good

Lily is this counselling on the NHS? Has the GP referred you because if so, it is probably CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy) and they usually give you 6 sessions. Often there is a long waiting list. If it is this, you can google it and there are loads of books on Amazon on the subject. The basic theory is that the counsellor helps you to find strategies for coping with negative thoughts that pop up and spiral out of control, and replace them with more balanced thoughts. It deals with the "here and now" rather than delving into the past. I have had this sort of counselling and tbh it didn't suit me at all. I was very depressed at the time and couldn't really think rationally. Many MNs on here speak very highly of it, so its horses for courses I reckon.

Private counsellors/therapists charge around £50 per hour dependent on where you live. If you have mild/moderate depression I wonder why your GP didn't prescribe an anti-depressant, or did you not want that. I am a big believer in ADs - they have been life savers for me, and for many many others.

There are other sorts of counselling on the NHS but only usually if you have been severely depressed as I was 2 years ago and spent 3 months on a psych ward, and I think that was the reason I got referred.

The thing is about depression and anxiety as the two usually go hand in hand is that you get good days and bad days and you can take 3 steps forward and 2 steps back - that's what it's like. Do you know how long you have to wait. If it is a long time I would go back and ask for ADs. Most GPs will prescribe a small dose for mild/moderate depression and could help you a lot.

Don't want to put you off counselling but am just wondering whether this is NHS or private.

Y

Nana thanks for the post, its on the nhs, i was offered anti depressants but wasnt sure if i wanted them so gp suggested counselling first.

First appointment is in 2 weeks and i have to see gp the week after to discuss the AD again.

I hope it is CBT, read a little on this before and think it would help me, i have very negative thought "my cup is always half empty" so to speak and i always have bad thoughts about things that are really never likely to happen! ( i can see that after the event) but get very stressed and anxious that something bad will happen. and i am worried the effect this has on my children.

Thank you for your reply and i hope you are well now.

I have just graduated from Therapy and one thing I honestly believe is that you can not compare troubles with those of others, for YOU this is the most troubled you have been, for YOU this is something you have found you can't tackle alone.

It is irrelevant how other people face the things life throw at them.

You being well is important not just for your childrens welfare but for your own, you are entitled to have a balanced life... with all the ups and downs that that brings, but with the skill set to see you through the tougher times, and the ability to fully experience and feel the joy of the good times.

I wish you all the very best and am very encouraged that it sounds like you have a supportive GP.

Hi lily, I feel like you and had two fab councelling sessions and thought I was cured as they were brill! Unfortunately it did not cure my depression and I should have stuck with it. I'm now back to feeling high as a kite on minute and totally crap the next. I pretend to everyone that I'm feeling great but really I just want to curl up and never wake up. Sorry, stolen your post!! You must talk everything through as it will help xxx

Ha sounds as though CBT is just the thing for you,and not too long a wait either. Maybe a CBT book would help too so that you have more info.

Your GP sounds very helpful and don't shy away from ADs if necessary because there are a lot of horror stories about them which aren't true. Yes they sometimes have side effects but so do all drugs, even paracetomol that we all take from time to time.

I haven't made a full recovery this time (I did after my first major episode at age 51) but I am now 68 and so have intermittent depression. I can go for weeks and even months feeling fine, then I might get a few bad days which set me back but I know I am going to be ok again soon, so that's not so bad.

Thing to remember is that 4 out of 5 people make a full recovery from depression in 4 - 6 months.

Goodmum123 I think you should see your GP again, as you can't be "cured" with a couple of sessions of counselling. The mood swings need to be talked over with your GP I think.

Thanks for your reply NEVER that all makes a lot of sense. Will try to keep that in mind, it is very true that something that effects one person may not both another. Reading all the replys I have had I feel I won't be wasting the councillors time and really do need to get help.

Goodmum, I am sorry you are feeling down again. Thank you for warning me that I might feel better and stop sessions but really I should keep with it. Can you not start up for sessions again??? Hope you find a way to feel better soon.

Nana, sorry to hear you are not great yourself at the moment, it is good to see you can see the signs now and are positive you will feel better soon, if it is of any comfort you have made me feel like I am not alone and I do deserve to get better.

Thanks for your reply NEVER that all makes a lot of sense. Will try to keep that in mind, it is very true that something that effects one person may not both another. Reading all the replys I have had I feel I won't be wasting the councillors time and really do need to get help.

Goodmum, I am sorry you are feeling down again. Thank you for warning me that I might feel better and stop sessions but really I should keep with it. Can you not start up for sessions again??? Hope you find a way to feel better soon.

Nana, sorry to hear you are not great yourself at the moment, it is good to see you can see the signs now and are positive you will feel better soon, if it is of any comfort you have made me feel like I am not alone and I do deserve to get better.

Sorry on my phone and it decided to send twice!