My husband has left me because of my depression - how do i cope with the guilt?

[Sunflower6]

I have been with my husband for 22 years. He has left me recently due to my depression. I feel so guilty and ashamed that this has happened and that our children have lost their family life. How do I cope with this?

This is a biggie. Not one you should be dealing with without every support open to you.

You need to speak to everyone who can help and tell them what you need - doctor, parents, family, friends, your counsellor if you have one.

It doesn't mean things are at an end. Your marriage may have run into difficulties aside from your depression. Don't carry the guilt banner. There will be many many issues all culminating in the stresses that affect both relationships and depression x.

FWIW, my 17 year relationship ended a year and a half ago. I have made leaps of progress with my depression since then. It wasn't the relationship causing my depression.....but being out of a relationship has allowed me to focus on what I need to be the best mum I can and my relationship with the children's dad is strong.....we have Christmas together, birthdays together and we've just had our second summer holiday together.

It can be done. Don't see this as an ending......its just a change.

Thank you for your reply. I have been to my go she just said I should be angry with my husband for not supporting me. I have been on antidepressants for nearly 7 years.

I have no friends. My family live 200 miles away and I only have a dad and a brother. My dad hasn't asked once since my husband left whether I or the kids are ok. I have no one to talk to about this. I have been to counsellors nothing seems to make me better.

From what little I know......I would say that you need a fresh look at your situation. There are different types of counselling and it may be you have neither found the right person or the right type for you. I never made friends easily, preferring my own company. After counselling, I began to see my retreat was partly safety, partly damaging. Trusting people (I now have 2 friends who know about my depression) has helped a lot. It might take a while to find someone you can trust....for me I didn't want to be treated differently.

A lot of recovering from depression, IMHO, can be done for yourself. It can be impossible to see a way out at times, and I am far from being fully well, however, learning strategies for when you are really low can help. For me, I would hold it together all day, get the kids to bed, then collapse in misery. I started to work out how to help myself. I would treat myself at night....jamas, telly, great food, MN in bed til I felt better. Knowing I had a plan for being down made it easier to cope.

Look up a website called Moodscope. I find it v helpful. Some questions you may think are a bit odd.......but actually it helps you drill into what is getting to you that particular day. Try it.

One question....... Why do you have no friends?