I've really had enough of myself :(

[BB8]

I don't really know where to start. My life is in such a mess and I don't feel I have the energy to sort it all out. I'm constantly tired and I've got no motivation at all. I feel I'm a bad mother because of my depressing moods, I get on my own nerves so must be hell to live with. I've tried telling my doctor but getting nowhere!

My fear is, I've been depressed on and off for a long time, the last five years have been a nightmare with numerous house moves and a divorce which has left me financially ruined. Thing is in the past I've found ways to get through but now I can't see any light at the end if the tunnel. Don't get me wrong, I'm not sat here contemplating anything silly IYKWIM, but I've never felt so low.

I want to get better so badly before my kids start hating me. I want to go back to the doctor and I want help, has anyone had drugs to help? Do they work?

Why did you get nowhere when you spoke to the doctor? Could you try a different GP? Yes, antidepressants may help if that's what you need at this time. You may also be offered a talking therapy.

BB8 - you are describing classic depression which is an illness and needs to be treated. I don't understand why you got no help when you last saw a GP.

Of course you must go back to the GP (different one) and tell him/her what your symptoms are. It can be helpful to write the symptoms in a list form and hand it over or use it to remind yourself, as sometimes we can just forget how bad things are, or burst out crying (mind that is another major symptom of depression ) I am always saying this on the MH thread but try to remember that you will not be telling the GP anything he/she hasn't heard before. 1 in 3 consultations with a GP are for mental health problems. 1 in 4 people will get mental illness at some time in their lives, the most common one being depression and anxiety.

I think the accumulation of stress in your life could have "tipped you over" into a depressive illness and yes many of us who have this awful illness have been major copers in the past.

ADs were life savers for me and have been for many others on the MH thread. YOu just have to remember that they don't work instantly at alland can take2/3 weeks to kick in, and you can get a bit worse before you feel the benefit. Often the original dose has to be increased and occasionally the AD you have been prescribed won't suit and you have to try another. It's all a bit trial and error really, and a longish journey, with ups and downs along the way, but you need to start that journey. 4 out of 5 people make a full recovery from depression in 4 - 6 months.

There is a thread called "Questioning my mental health" (fairly recent) which you might find helpful.

SO first thing Monday morning you need to pick up the phone and make an appt with the GP and that will be your first step towards recovery.