the need to spend :(

[AnotherLoad]

I went to the gp for depression and anxiety back in june? (i think it was?) any way im on fluoxetine anti d's and councelling was put through - but they had no child care facilities and could only do telephonic work, which for me wasnt the best option as i have anxiety talking on the phone.

i feel better in the fact that life dont seem so glum and i feel some what happier/ not fighting with my mind i guess....

but every minute of the day i think about buying stuff, animals, clothes, toys for my dc's. I went out to treat DD 2yrs old some clothes and went totally overboard!!! :( then i see some cheap shoes and bought 5 different pairs (one of which i just like the look of and wouldnt actually wear) i feel so guilty after it makes me sad. i also buy DD shoes, she has 9 pairs and she's only 2!!!! :( i know its wrong.

i have to stop myself from rushing to the pet store and buying one of everything!!! not that i can afford to buy any of them, i would put myself into debt if carry on.

ive been like it before being diagnosed with depression, i once had to order lego (from ebay) everyday so that something came in the post to me, that also made my dc's happy. but then i had to wash, count and sort the bits before they could play with it?? in the end i had to delete it to stop myslef :(

ive had pet after pet, buying on inpulse then not being suitable for me,too nosiy with baby sleeping,not enough time/energy to tame, then having to rehome the poor little things. its my fault.

im sad. dont know what i want to hear really? just to get it off my chest maybe? have to make app for gp to get repeat anti'd's so will mention it.

How do you feel when you are out shopping or buying things online? Do you feel happy and euphoric? How do you feel afterwards, that day? That week? How long do these spending sprees last?

Do you have issues with OCD? I'd go back to the GP and tell him/her what you are doing - in as much detail as possible. Tell them also about your moods. Good luck with the anti-ds, and ask them if the anti-ds are contributing towards your spending sprees (could be). You may also be spending money to counteract the depression. Maybe downsize your spending to small inexpensive treats or treating yourself/children once per week. Could you do that? Replace spending with other enjoyable things like a good tv programme, a relaxing bath, cocoa in bed

Anyway, hope you feel happy soon.

its different at times, when i was buying for my DD she needed summer clothes - but not to the extent of which i bought her, neither a pair of shoes every time i go out! i just feel 'they're nice i'll get them' :(

when buying the lego on line it didnt make me feel better/happy, when it came in the post i get on with washing, cleaning and sorting. so i guess it did take my mind off things? but this was before i went to gp.

i also bought lots of baking tins, baking accessories and sat on line printing off cake recipes for hrs. ive made a few of the cakes, but half the time im so tired i aint got energy for nothing.

yes think i have OCD, i dont cope with change very well. if something breaks i buy the same thing. when i decorated my bathroom no one was allowed to mess up the towels ie the hand towel had to be correct and i rolled up a small face towel and put it ontop of the toilet for deco - not to touch. im not to bad with it now but at first i would be angry if it looked out of place.

as for how long the sprees last, with animals i think of buying all the time but stop myself knowing i cant have them/dont need them/cant afford them. with clothes its only when i or dc's need them but as i say its abit ott :(

there's loads of stuff i do that i know is not right in the mind.

sorry ive rambled.

I have OCD (not diagnosed) and bipolar, when depressed I don't have any energy either. Sounds to me you have depression and anxiety/ocd issues? You really need to go back to your GP - are the anti-d's working? How long have you been on them? CBT might work for OCD, but there's nothing wrong with a bit of OCD in my book .

yes been diagnosed with depression/anxiety been on anti's for 2 months, think there working? i dont feel so messed up as before. can get up with out crying atleast! :)

i was meant to go for CBT but i had no child care for 2yo so missed the opportunity, they've refered me back to gp. :( they wanted me to do telephonic work but im nervous on the phone and easily distracted - i wouldnt be paying attention.

so is spending part of OCD? no dont mind OCD when house is sparkling and every thing has its place - but some things aint so good!

when im feeling down i dont want to talk to any one, go out, no motivation for house work (although it bugs me i its not tidy)

when im 'happy' i have urge to spend. i did look up bipolar as i thought it sounded abit like it.

I'm exactly like you when depressed - no motivation to do anything, talk to anyone and so on. When I'm hypomanic (bipolar "happiness") I start lots of projects, everything is exciting, easily distracted, spend a lot more money than usual and don't look at bank statements, that kind of thing. These periods can last weeks, or months and then I fall back into a depression (which again can last for months). Do you see periods like that in how you feel? Mention it to the doc. The spending sprees could be part of the depression (or mania if you are bipolar) rather than OCD - OCD and anxiety can be helped by CBT - I think you can do it yourself anyway, maybe online or from a book. But see the doc

thats the word - hypomanic. thats what came up when i looked into why im spending/symptoms.

yes im very much like you with the projects, feeling excited, then spending and i do avoid looking at my bank! definately see periods like you mention.

will tell this to my gp, i did ask if it was anything when i went about my derpression - she said could be part of it. will say again tho.

wanted to do CBT but cant make it, they wont let me take my toddler, but expected me to be on the phone for an hour with screaming toddler in the back ground

will have a look for an online book.

thanks for talking to me

What you describe can definitely be a part of OCD. My step mum has OCD and goes through phases of buying certain things. Off the top of my head she's done;

Clothes - her bedroom used to be covered wall to cieling in rails, with clothes organised by colour and pattern.. Sections of blue checked shirts, going from small checks up to large checks, pink checked shirts, stripes shirts.. You get the idea

Phones

Mp3 players/ipods and accesories

Headphones

Tarantulas (we had 120 between us at one point!)

Small animals such as fish, hamsters etc.

She also went through a phase of not being able to buy something if she didn't buy whoever she was with something.. If she bought a yoghurt, and me and my mum were with her, we had to have something too.

She also suffers bi polar type 2, so depression linked also with her.

thanks for your replies

i hang my clothes in my cupboard in colur groups!

toys have to go in certain boxes - as i mentioned lego cant be mixed, has to be sorted in the many many boxes in the DC's room.

i too have a thing about small animals - ive had everything over the years, they give me joy, something to do (not that the kids dont keep me busy!) but its just a different routine from kids :)

I have BPD, a self destructive condition - and at times, yes, I could just spend. Its so difficult, as I'm embarrassed by it, but only afterwards. At the time its totally logical.

No real advice, just that I understand how difficult it is to control at times.

hi sirbob

I always feel embarassed after and dont like looking at it all.

what is BPD?

thanks for understanding :)

I would say definitely see your gp. Over spending can be one of the signs of developing mania or hypomania. It is possible your depressive episode was part of a bipolar disorder rather than pure depression . It could be that the antidepressants have tipped you into a hypomanic episode which can happen when people with bipolar disorder are given antidepressants.
It may not be, but its important to rule it out as it could get worse if it is the start of a manic episode and you continue with the antidepressants.

Borderline Personality Disorder.