I am so tired

[Onceortwice]

I've just had enough.

I have a child with SN (Autism) and I'm so tired of having to deal with people's reactions / issues with it.

We have had builders in the house for FOREVER so staying in is not easy (we're in at the moment and it's so noisy and dirty). I will have to take them out soon. And then I will have to deal with people looking at us because my child is not 'normal'

My husband hates me. He won't even cuddle me. I don't really know why I stay, only that I'm not brave enough to leave, and have nowhere to go.

I only got home yesterday and I already want to leave.

Are you involved with any autism groups that you could socialise with today,or be with any other families with some one who has autism who can help and understand and support you today?

Will the builders be finished soon?

Do you want to say some more about why you think your husband hates you?

No, there is no one close. We are just holed up in our room, listening to the builders, because I can't face going out.

I swore blind that I wouldn't let the builders be here when my children start school (both start in September) - my DS will find it upsetting - but here they are. Probably be here till November now.

I don't think my husband hates me. I know it. I know it because he tells me on an almost daily basis. I think he stays because he knows the kids would stay with me (he does nothing with them), I'd most probably get the house (DS has SN, change is upsetting for him). I don't know why I stay.

He will read this, just like he reads everything else. Just like he goes through my purse for reciepts to see what I've spent, he goes through FB and twitter, just in case i write anything he does not like or can use as evidence of my shit personality.

And the next time he is feeling happy, he will want sex. And not get why I won't comply. And then he'l be in a mood with me again.

Once
Change your name on MN. Change your password - and from there, we'll help you change your life.
You sound like you need some help - there are loads of us to give you hugs, and some damn good advice. (Im better at hugging, personally)

Hang on in there....

Sometimes people say things they dont really mean.But from your second post it sounds like he is controlling you.

To Mr Onceortwice,I think you know that what you are doing is not nice.Could you look at your behaviour and stop it?

op,if you posted this in relationships you would get a lot more replies,and possible help with your relationship than you may get in here on Mental Health.Is there a Mental Health issues you wanted to talk about as well?

And have you posted in the special needs section,as they are great about that aspect of things.

It strikes me that you have at least three different things going on here,and when that happens to people,it is very difficult to see the wood for the trees.

There are too many things going on for relationships.

1. My DS with SN, which makes the most mundane of things appear like a mountain
2. My DH who likes to think I do piss all and, as HE earns all the money, HE has all the say. I do nothing.
3. The fucking builders. Who are currently ripping out the guts of our house. Why oh why didn't we just buy a new build???????????
4. School: I'm dreading it
5. I don't want to be here.

That's a pretty comprehensive list.

I've given up trying to name change. He seems to have some sort of key checker on the PC. He knows everything. ALl passwords, all content. I've given up now. I don't care any more.

Can you go quickly to a physical place that you know that can help you?
Or a person that can help you?
Many almost complete strangers would be willing to take you in .