How to develop a thicker skin?

[Wonder12]

Anyone any tips, books, sayings anything that may help me? I know I'm far too sensitive for my own good. It's not always, but in certain circumstances, say for eg anything relating to me as a parent or my child etc, my relationship etc. Sorry cant elaborate at the moment but any wise words would help. I used to be very confident. I have no access to counselling although I want to go. A book next best thing for me if anyone can recommend one.
Thanks

No book recommendations from me but I can share with you my phrases for keeping positive and confident:

Don't let the bastards get you down
What's the worst that can happen?
What goes around comes around
I can and I will
Tomorrows another day
Things are never as bad as you think they might be

That's me! Any help?! Why has your confidence lessened?

Hi Hyperballad!
Thank you so much! That is exactly the kind of thing I was seeking. Ive just written then into my phone notes. I honestly can't tell when the confidence sank, I guess it was always a front & was never there. Or it was a series of events -probably more likely, but everyone has 'events'. I just seem ridiculously sensitive of late. I can't stand even jokes now & I know people must be walking on eggshells around me, in certain conversations.
I have come off sertraline recently & I feel great but maybe this is a sign I shouldn't have. I was always rather sensitive though. I am certainly happier off it. I came off as we want to try to conceive.
My first little step is to not be afraid to post, I've lurked for a while

I used to be a hyper-sensitive soul and would let even minor comments and remarks made by others (even strangers) play on my mind ? sometimes for days. Then I learned how to pretend I didn?t care what was said or done even though it might have been ripping me to bits inside. I wanted to knock people off the scent and give out the impression I was much tougher than I really was.

In time, I started becoming the person I was pretending to be and without even realising it, I?d gone from ?pretending? I didn?t care to genuinely not giving one. Fake it for long enough and you start not needing to fake it eventually.

My feeling is that the only people whose views and opinions you care about should be those that come from people you care about. Provided the few of my absolute most nearest, dearest and respected family and friends aren?t against me ? I couldn?t care less what anyone else thinks.

Hi Parly!

Thanks for that
That's great advice & good to hear I'm not the only über sensitive soul Im so glad to hear you've come out the other end!
I think that is an excellent idea I shall begin tomorrow onwards. I guess it is strangers as well as loved ones. Funny enough the strangers comments bug the daylights out of me more than loved ones (although both annoy me!!) I seem to linger on strangers comments far too long even when they are absolutely clearly joking. If its about my child I kind of freak out I'm a bit of a mess really in that department. I'm glad I at least recognise it

Wonder. Well done for posting then! You get a big tick for your first step!

Like the other poster, I have spent time previously pretending I was confident! It does work! But for me to be able to do this I had to prepare for whatever it was I was doing. For example when I first dated in my teens I'd be really worried that I'd have nothing to say so I'd sit and write a list of thing I could talk about! I always came across as confident and chatty!

As for peoples comments I think I've also learnt to accept we are are all different, so have the confidence to think well they can think that because they can think what they like, but it might not change what I think. (woah! Way too many thinks in that sentence!)

Water off a ducks back is another one of my phrases!

Ah I hope you start feeling better about things, and very good luck with TTC!! :)

I think you need to build yourself up.
Have notes round the house saying,
I am important
I do matter
I am loved

Also,take note if the person that has upset you,does it to other people as well.Most of the time they do,so it is not personal to you.

In an ideal world,people should be loving you as they love themselves.So they are at fault if they dont,not you.

Thanks Hyperballad
(Sorry took so long returning wifi no use around here!) Ah yes it's a big deal even starting to post, just have been afraid of putting myself out there even in Internet Land
Thanks for the great advise I really appreciate it. It's great to hear u have tried & tested the same techniques & they work??
Thanks for the TTC wishes it's still early days

Thanks amillionyears
You are correct I need to build myself up. Have never tried the notes technique but I think I will try that.
What a great way to think about it when people are less than kind...