Coping with stress and anxiety without ADs?

[AllMuddledUp]

Hi, I just wondered if anyone has any advice about things I can do to manage the high level of stress and anxiety I have at the moment.

I have just been back to the doctors and we decided to try some CBT without restarting any ADs (I have taken citalopram, fluoxetine, and duloxetine over the past 4 years, at decent doses, which all either stopped being effective over time or never were effective in the first place). I have some online CBT to try at home while I wait for referral. Dr thinks I am coping fairly well without ADs as haven't taken anything useful for around a year now.

I am just coming out of a depressive slump, but the thing I find so hard is the anxiety/stress. For instance, today should be a fairly easy day. It is just me and my DC for a change, the only things I have to do are a bit of knitting, go to shop, and do some housework BUT I woke up feeling incredibly anxious about the day ahead, felt like crying when DH set off for work and just feel like my nerves are jangling all the time iykwim? I wake up feeling like I don't want the day to begin. Also silly things that wouldn't bother a normal person can have me in bits (eg not finishing something in time due to myself and DC catching a bug, having to return something I bought on eBay as it wasnt fit for purpose and I hate confrontation, this has me in tears).

I am doing a lot of babysitting as my new job, and strangely though it has its stressful times I can handle it well. It is at the start of the day (before I get up) and the evening time when I feel the worst. Times when I'm busy I don't have time to feel bad!

So (sorry, massive ramble) is there anything I can actually do when I am having these moments of panic/ high anxiety? Anything that has worked for anyone else I am willing to try.

Thanks for reading.

Have a quick Google for distraction techniques. Especially good for non specific anxiety.

If there is something specific making you anxious, then I do something I made up called circular thinking. It works for problem solving too.

How it works is you see your problem, or stress trigger, and put it to the back of your mind by having an internal debate about more important things, like why raspberry jam is better with bits in, or Chinese or Italian.

It keeps your mind busy, something I think important when feeling anxious. It won't work for everybody, but it does for me.

Thank you for the reply NicholasTeacozy I will have a look at distraction techniques.

I like your idea of debating something else in my head, the only thing is my thoughts spiral really quickly- one minute I'll be thinking about doing something nice, the next about something terrible happening. Maybe doing as you suggest might give me chance to catch these thoughts before they run away with me.

I've found a link on my doctor's website to a site called Living Life To The Full, which looks like it could be helpful.

The doctor asked me what I do for fun, I did this face 'fun, what's that?' I've become very isolated, but it's a bit embarrassing trying to make friends when you are nearly 30! I don't think I even know what I would find fun anymore.

Sorry, I am rambling now!

That happens to me too. I interrupted a burglary at home t'other day and the thing that stops me investigating every noise is Circular Thinking. I hear a noise and it's at the front of my mind. I force it back by thinking about chips with gravy vs salad or Hardcore vs Sierra Nevada. You know, the things that matter.

Also, try doing at least one thing per day just for you. Even if it's only going for a walk.

Lastly, fun can be found anywhere. Jump in puddles. Ride on shopping trollies. It's all good fun.

You can do it.

Oh gosh, how scary! I'm sorry that happened. A lot of my night time fears come from attempted break ins at my childhood home so know how it feels.

I hope you decided that chips with gravy are just plain wrong it has to be salt, vinegar and Heinz ketchup!

I will keep looking for opportunities to have fun too.

Had a big panic attack this morning, tried a bit of the thinking you mentioned and it did distract me (who is sexier, a 6 foot tall Roman gladiator or a cute geeky guy with big hair and glasses...the gladiator just won it ) still took about 20 minutes to calm down. It's just that I wake up panicking about the day ahead, even if there's nothing stressful happening.

Thanks for chatting to me.

Chips and gravy is sooooo right. :o

Well, you've tried it and it helped a bit. That's a good thing, and I'm pleased.

I think in your situation, where you're waking up in a panic, it would be a good idea to do some CBT exercises. MoodGym is a site I've seen, and I think it's alright. It sounds almost like you're expecting to be panicky upon waking, and CBT could help break the cycle of destructive thoughts by giving you physical or mental tasks to take your mind off it.

You can do it. You have RL support from your GP, and virtual help here. :)

Ditto what's been said, cbt was fab as are distraction techniques, takes time however and practice and slowly becomes second nature, just like learning a new language! Have to say, I was so bad I needed betablockers and these helped tremendously in the early days. I had slow release all day ones but you can get very low dose immediate ones and I can't believe how well they work, no long term issues or side effects. I used to worry about taking them ( cant take ads, and never worked for me) but they really saved my life. (the anxiety led to severe depression). You sound very like how I am at my worst (bar the depression) Some people can't take betablockers (asthmatics for eg) but they just ironed out my creases. At my worst I could still panic through them but was able to maintain a level of calm enough to get through the day in a very busy and stressful job. (I actually was prescribed them when dealing with an addiction to seroxat 15 years ago, I'd been put on it, it never worked, but then I was unable to come off. The betablockers did work though! It was found to be my thyroid however which was causing depression, and has on occasions since)

Living life to the full is an excellent website, I think there's one called mood juice too.

During my cbt I was set chapters from the 'overcoming anxiety' book which the nhs actually prescribe, is in all libraries or on amazon. There's a whole series of books called 'overcoming....' for example low self esteem or depression and all use cbt methods. I was also given a sheet to track and review certain panic states which helped identify the 'heart of the issue "hot thought"'. Slowly instead of going from a to b via a long and winding anxiety attack I could avert all the panic and go from a to b and then my 'problem solving' was more effective. In panicked states your mind is trying to problem solve to the max but it gets caught in a cycle fed by the adrenaline which in turn erodes serotonin. The problem solving becomes crooked but our minds keep trying - and failing. Then certain triggers just set off the adrenaline without us realising what has happened. Cbt re trains the brain to be more effective but I found I needed the beta blocker to bring the adrenaline down in order to gain an ounce of clarity!. That's just me though and everyone is different. I'm currently pregnant and facing dealing with it without the betablockers but tbh, remnants of the previous cbt have helped a little, and ive been referred for a top up. Unfortunately I have a crazy thyroid which adds to the chaos!

(I'm re reading this and going to try and follow my own advice plus the distraction stuff which I had forgotten about!)

All the best! Xx

Thank you both, I am going to look through the sites recommended and just gather up some info, maybe print some stuff out.

Have had a bad couple of days as there has been someone prowling around my Mum's house in the early hours (mum is away, DSis on her own there with baby) so sleep has been hard to come by! Especially as I was on my own 2 nights imagining someone was going to break into our house too . All seems fine though, no break in, but it really set me off.

Clarella- I found citalopram took the edge off the anxiety but didn't do much for my depression. Doctor says I can restart citalopram if things get worse. I don't really want to take anything until I've given the CBT a try.

I have the overcoming depression book! It seems good but I read it and then never put it into practice- it seems just owning the book isn't enough. I didn't know there was an anxiety one though so will will look into that thanks. I've found mood juice as well, I didn't realise there were so many online resources.

Congratulations on your pregnancy, hope all is going well!

Great post Clarella. I'm going to have a look for that Overcoming Anxiety book, sounds like it might do me good.

You're right Muddled, there's loads of stuff out there, but another thing to find it and put it to use.

Vigorous exercise works quite well for me, both as a regular preventive thing and as a 'first-aid' tactic, when I feel myself becoming panicky. Can you go for an evening run? You might sleep better if you can burn off some of the excess adrenaline. If you can't get out, try putting some music on and dancing energetically and singing along.

My favourite exercise for destressing is to march up a big hill because when you get to the top, you see the whole world laid out below you, all tiny, and it helps put things into perspective.

Hope you feel better soon.

I am a yoga teacher and something which is very helpful is either ujayii breathing, (google it or PM me) or "golden thread breath" which I use in pregnancy yoga. Both are a great antidote to fear/panic.

Also EFT is something you could do. You need a couple of sessions with a EFT trained person but it can be very helpful.

I'll be your friend! I'm 30!

I have had DREADFUL anxiety since birth of DC 16 months ago. Sounds v similar to yours.

I refused ADs as read too many horror stories and worryied about whether they could make me worse rather than better.

It's been a very (very) slow road to recovery but I'm starting to know I'm getting back to my old self.

Things that have helped: camomile tea, giving up caffeine, zero alcohol (quite shockingly i've discovered just one glass of wine impacts me the next day when I thought it was helping), exercise, healthy eating.

My anxiety definitely has a hormonal aspect as the week before a period it's dreadful.

Hope this helps.
X

• worried!!!

Plenty I live in Yorkshire so am never far away from a big hill to march up! We went for a long walk the other day and I did sleep much better than usual so I will try and get out for more exercise and hope it helps. I am a massive fatty as well so it would have more than one benefit!

Thanks sailorsgal I will have a look at the breathing technique.

Hi Tizzylizzy It's always nice to meet a new friend! I'm sorry you've had anxiety probs since birth of your DC. I found it was having DC that really triggered off my depression 5 years ago.

You sound like you are doing really well now. Your list of helpful things is quite scary to me though! I'm a bit of a caffeine addict, eat dreadfully (hence overweightness), am fond of a glass of wine or three... It feels scary the prospect of change, but I really need to do it. My physical health is suffering along with my mental health now. Did you change one thing at a time and do it gradually, or did you try and do it all at once?

Thanks everyone for replying, silly as it sounds I don't feel quite so alone now.

Don't cut everything at once. I suggest cutting down on caffeine to start and definitely no coffee after lunchtime. If you do hot drinks after that switch to tea. Regarding exercise, start with walking, like you did the other day, then maybe look at something like swimming. Don't worry about eating shit food too much, your diet can be improved by merely adding fruit to it. Alcohol in moderation is fine, award yourself some whenever you want. Just not too much.

This next bit I've posted on other threads: imagine this illness happening not in your mind (brain) but, say, in your chest. You'd seek the best treatment to cure the infection, wouldn't you? Treat problems with the brain the same way. We must stop stigmatising mental illness.

You can do it. You know you can.

No offence Nicholas but are you implying ADs are needed here? The like insulin for a diabetic argument? They STILL don't know why ADs work - they know it's to do with serotonin but aren't sure whether that's a by product of depression/anxiety rather than the cause. Also the reality is you could take the wrong pill or the wrong dose and things could become worse rather than better. Sorry if that's no what you meant!

All muddled - I lapse back into my old ways regularly. And when I do I suffer. I didn't subscribe to the exercise and giving up alcohol thing but it has so helped. Let me know how you get on! I'm Yorkshire too :)

I got through a massive bout of reactional depression by losing myself in bubble witch saga on FB, I know it sounds ridiculous, but it was a really good distraction technique

Tizzy, nowhere on this thread have I suggested that Muddled takes ADs. I have suggested other methods of coping, one of which works for me. On other threads where SSRIs are involved I advise not to cut them out without support and advice from an MH professional.

Maybe my analogy was poor: if you're unfit physically you'd remedy that by altering the way you treat your body. If you're mentally unwell you'd do the same.

Eee so sorry Nicholas. I got the wrong end of the stick,

That's ok Tizzy. :)

Thanks everyone, I'm muddling along. Not been feeling too bad last couple of days. Still no word on my CBT referral but have started doing MoodGym (it's quite good but I have an irrational hatred of the cartoon characters!)

Nicholas I won't try and change everything at once, would be very likely to fail. I'm not a coffee drinker but bucketloads of tea and a bit of coke most days... Am trying to stop drinking these after tea time.

I'd love to start swimming again, I just can't get any regularity as I work different days each week as does DH, and I don't drive. May be easier when my kids are back at school. I've had a real craving to swim the last few days (but of course I get anxious at the thought of going... I'm short sighted and think I'm not going to be able to see something important, or I might get lost (!!) and people will be looking at me in all my flabby glory! I know these thoughts are ridiculous and I will try to overcome them.

Tizzy whereabouts in Yorkshire are you? We are in the West, Last of the Summer Wine country .

Re ADs, I do believe they have their place, and I have felt significantly better on some of them, it's just that for me the effects don't last long term. This is why I want to find other ways of coping, and try to sort out the underlying issues.

We have a child free weekend so I'm hoping the anxiety keeps away and I can enjoy some time with DH. We are going to a BBQ on Sunday too which I'm actually looking forward to, usually I'd be very nervous but not feeling that so far. Looking forward to and [BBQ chicken emoticon] .

Will keep you updated.

You're doing all the right things. On the exercise front, have a think about Geocaching. It's a geeky version of Treasure Hunt, and kids love it too.

It's good that you want to go swimming, and your idea of leaving it till your kids are back in school is a good one. If you get anxious use the things you're learning from MoodGym to help.

Your last paragraph sounds very upbeat, which is good. BBQs and Sundays go together very well. Go and enjoy yourself, you deserve to.

Oh dear, DH on a night shift so I am not sleeping well. Keep waking in a panic, hearing voices outside and cars. I tried distraction which worked earlier when I first came to bed, but I've got too worked up now so thought I'd get up for an hour or so. Feel physically sick too and shaky.

Ever since DSis told me about the prowler I have felt unsafe in myself, I know it sounds stupid. I think my fear of being broken into from when I was younger has been reactivated. I never felt safe then either. Am okay when DH is here but on my own I'm like a scared child. And DH does 2 overnights a week.

Sorry, rambling now but feel better for getting it down.

Will have a look at the geocaching link now, sounds interesting and might distract me for a bit!

Hey Muddled, hope you are OK.

WOndering if you are still up. I've just bought the book 'Overcoming Anxiety' that was mentioned unthread. I get very stressed, particularly to do with work, and I eat to try to calm myself / comfort myself. Started a very stressful job a year ago and I am devastated that I have put on over 3 stone. I am taking a different approach from here on, tackling the anxiety instead of the eating to see if I can be a bit kinder to myself.

What about this one - which is better, reading or watching a movie?

Morning Muddle, I hope you feel better now than when you posted. When you wake up with panicky feelings try to remember the CBT techniques you've found on MoodGym. Anxiety is difficult to overcome, but with help and determination you can do it.

Go and enjoy your BBQ this afternoon. You deserve the chance of fun.

Geocaching is fun. It takes your mind away from what ails you. If you have a smartphone download an app and off you go. Caches can be found anywhere: stuck to roadsigns, under bus stop seats, next to supermarkets etc. I've seen them disguised as rocks, logs and lost golf balls.

Morning, thanks both of you for replying. Got back to sleep about 5am (somehow feel safer once it's got light).

Bombastic how are you finding the book? I think I will order it this week if it's worth a read. I am a comfort eater too so can sympathise with that. I've put on around 7 stone in 7 years . Totally agree with being kind to yourself and dealing with the stress first. Hopefully the rest will follow.

PS I would always choose reading, I'm a total bookworm! How about you?

Nicholas I love the sound of the geocaching, I think my DDs and DH would enjoy it too so thanks for that. I'm going to have a nice relaxing soak in the bath now and then get ready for BBQ. I do feel a bit nervous today but am trying to remember that I do know most of the people and they are lovely so I should be okay.

I will keep plugging away with the techniques too. I just want to say thanks for your support, it means a lot to me.