Feeling suicidal and finding it hard to cope with DC

[Spryte]

I'm 30 and have 3 DC, 18 months, 4 and 6. I love my DC dearly and they are lovely well behaved children but hard work, as they all are. DH is great, a real hands on Dad and is at home a lot so I'm very lucky in that respect but I just feel so depressed and suicidal.

We have very little money (DH is retraining so a full time student at the moment) and I suffer badly with seasonal affective disorder so this Summer has been hard mentally.

I left university when I found out I was pregnant with our first child and have no qualifications and we have no money (or time) for me to retrain as anything, plus I'm not as young as I used to be and we are in a recession. I just feel so trapped and like I'm living in some kind of groundhog day.

I just want to scream and cry every time I look out of the window or my DC demand things from me, should I see my doctor? I don't want to take medication.

Hi, I probably won't being help but didn't want to read and run.
I would definitely see your doctor, it may make you feel better just to get it all out.
In regards to you retraining, can you not start once your DP has finished and is back in work. If he can take time out to retrain surely you can too?
Make the appt with your doctor and do your best to focus on the good things you have.
Sorry, I did say I wouldn't be much help!

I agree with Showme - please go and see your doctor asap - sometimes even just talking with someone who is outside your immediate circle of family and friends can help and meds are lots better than they used to be. I know it seems there is no end in sight but there is - when they are all in school or pre-school you will get some time to yourself and you may then be able to train for something. Take care x

Thanks guys, I will see what my doctor says