Is it PND or exhaustion?

[mum199]

Dont know if it is exhaustion or PND!

eg. Coping with appts sends me into tears. Ds is 8 weeks and i have a 2 yr old dd.

i used to find her so much cuter and feel really ashamed that in her terrible twos she is not as cute.

Get annoyed that the baby has stopped me having patience for her. Love them both dearly, so just dont like having them together.

he is actually sleeping quite well at night, but during the day i dont have a moment to myself. DD goes to nursery, but i am busy with baby then.

i cant really leave dd or ds anywhere in afternoon as dd is having issues about being left, even with family! (and no one wants to look after little baby). So maybe the issue is no time to myself?

(if i dont post back tonite, it means i have taken myself off to bed)

it could be a mixture of both so you really should see your health visitor or GP as there is help available for either PND or exhaustion. thins do seem worse when over tired but you must seek advise and get the support that you need.

Hi Oh dear you are having a tough time. I feel for you cause I dont think there is a mum (of more than one child) who doesnt know how you feel. I would go and get checked out for pnd though. Even if they rule it out it is something less to worry about. Is there a time in the day when it can be just you and your dd??? Maybe if baby goes for a little nap. This would help with her behaviour. I used to get DD1 to help me cook the dinner or something while DD2 was asleep. I accomplished something and I was spending time with DD1. It really helped me. Dont mean to sound bad the house has to wait Im afraid. You have to look after YOU, then DD then baby in that order. Unfortunetely that means house and DH have to suffer but so be it. You must, MUST look after you first and foremost. If this means taking yourself for a bath for an hour while children sleep/dp is in/ypu have a visitor, then that is what you must do. Once baby is passed the totally depandant stage (6 monthsish) then you will be better able to manage both of them. Hope I have helped and not made matters worse.

Have you heard of the Edinburgh Test? Its just one of the ways that you may be able to tell if your suffering with PND.

Just off to bed now, so dont really have time to find it. There has been links on here before, you could try a search.

HTH.

how do they rule PND out?

I should prob add i have had a very bad eight weeks. Problems re stitches so in and out of hosp for me. All day appts in hosp for baby. Mastitis, Anal Fissure, Overstretched a ligament in my back. Getting DD used to nursey as couldnt keep up with entertaing her.

Baby has no proper naps during day, just drifts off here and there. Started reading Gina Ford (even though in in principle do not agree with her), as i thought if baby in schedule would feel more in control, but it just depressed me!

I do all the wrong things getting baby to sleep, rocking him, or feeding him or dummy. HV and GFord do not agree! Works at night as he can sleep up to 7 hours. But during the day very unpredictable

It's early days do what is right for you - do not take books etc as gospel I did and I became paranoid about it.

They can rule out PND but how they do it I am not sure which is why you need to see someone professionally. please ring the dr or midwife tomorrow.

DH is great (so much so with DD that she asks for him all day).

But he is on a very intensive course which is stressful for him, and doesnt leave much time.

I cant just ignore the house, as mess makes me feel depressed . We have prioritised cleanign help and have about 6 hours a week which is great.

I found the test and scored 17, but that could be from tiredness?

problem is i have nothing outside my kids to look forward to, so prob have baby overload. I should prob schedule outside activities eg having friends over for dinner, but dh has no time. And if its just girls all we talk is babies.

i am very outgoing, and prob feel constrained a s no activities for me. Will prob feel better if i do something for me. But dont know where/how etc as baby is so little there is no break for me.

My dd used to just doze here and there too, I used to sit her in the kitchen or where ever I was while I went about my business. Sit her in a chair in the bedroom while you and DD sort out the socks (even including her in this helps), again you have achieved something, your children have been amused and you have had a stress free hour. Then sit down together with a book. This all helps you unwind, gives DD the attention she needs and baby is getting attention/spoken to too.

Try and not stress about the house. Go and see your GP and explain how you are feeling, he/she should be able to tell you if it is PND or exaustion. I'm not surprised you are worn out though with all you have been through. Keep your chin up, things WILL improve (PROMISE!!!!).

Hi sorry have just read your last post. I know it's not for everybody but what about a mother and toddler group. I was really depressed when DD2 was about 18 months. I joined a todler group and while inititally it was just talking about the babies I now have 2 really close friends who I meet up with once a week. I even manage to go to the Gym once a week with one of them. I am not an outgoing person but the group made me go out once a week and I now have 2 really close friends through it. Give it a go, it will at least get you out for a couple of hours a week.

hi, thankks for all your replies. We do go to M&T group but all we discuess is...babies. today was more or less like you described.

just dont have the energy when dd is testing the boundaries and limits. Also she is very jealous of baby, gets in hysterics if he lies on the gym/play mat, (which actually occupies him)