Sorry but need to offload.jutjjfjgkgojohohgphgph[

[Mhamai]

I started ads four days ago, citalaprom 10mg per day, and feel horrible due to the side effects, I know it will or at least hope it will ease as time goes on as I was on different ads last yr for over seven wks with no improvement but thankfully it lifted of it's own accord.

I guess i'm feeling very overwhelmed, I was up all night with ds5 who had a very high temp, turns out he has chickenpox. He is I have to say being as good as gold but what's getting me is the lack of support

I wasn't going to tell my sis but she sent me a lovely txt, the type of fluffy pass on to your friend types, I thought I'd confide in her, well she txt me back with "Oh you poor pet, it never rains but it pours, mind yourself xx"

I just feel so f**kin alone My Mams dead, my Dad has Alzheimers and the only other sis has Schizophrenia. I'm a single mum putting myself through Uni. I do have some friends but ones fighting cancer, another is working long shifts and the other has had a lot of probs.

I'm in counselling, have been for eight months and it's very good, hell I'm a trainee one myself! Anyway sorry this has prob been a bit whiny etc. I really just needed to have a bit of a rant, have to go for a bit but thanks if you've read this far.

tia xx

Ps my ds5 typed in the jthtfjhtuju in the thread title, just to clear that up!

Oh hun it will get better soon. AD's take up to 2 weeks to take effect. I found any side effects (drowsiness) had disappeared by then.

Ds5??? You deseve a medal as big as the sun woman. I have 3 and am on my knees most of the time. You sound like you are doing a fabby job. Prob not what you want to hear - don't really have any advice except hang on in there and you you sound very strong.... even if you don't feel it.

Shit - you are having a crap time but "f4ck it"

You are here, alive and kicking!

That old saying that you are always better off than someone else out there still applies to you.

YOu have two things my sister tries for everyday:

1. A child
2. To be at uni

She left school very young and in her late 30's feels undereducated and hurts everyday for a child.

She is trying ttc and has started a basic English and Maths course but she is along way off... but is trying all the same.

Whenever I use to moan about life, my punk friend who obvoiusly had no empathy for anyone or anything would casually say "life is shit - get used to it!"... oh and "you aint going to get anywhere moaning there, you make your own luck in this shit world"...

He always made me smile and a bit irritated at the same time but would shut me up!

Its good your in councelling, if its no helping maybe you should consider trying something else.

Sounds like you need a little break too, you should have a look on lastminute.com to see if tiy and your child could get away somewhere for a long weekend to have some fun together.

I think most people at some points in their life have a load of horrible moments thrown at them and soem ohave a few too many in a row like you but life cant and wont be like that always. we never know what will happen next year, you are due some good luck as you are making your own luck by attending uni and changing your life path.

your son is five and as you know they grow so bloody fast, write down 10 things that you think would make you and him happy, next to them write down what you would have to do. I bet one or more of them would be possible.

Moan and cry when you feel like it - as you know its good for you.

x

Thanks people for your kind responses, weird as it is I know things will improve just feel like sh*t now, a bit overwhelmed, the house is upside down and am feeling so alone in it all.

I really do have so much going for me and hopefully in a week or two will be over the worstof it. I know that MN isn't rl but have to say I'd be lost without it. I tend to give off a very confident attitude a lot of the time and wont let on when I'm down and that's why Ive taken a chance on reaching out here.

Anyway thanks eveyone, just needed to let off steam.

Hello

You there today?

Just like to say that I am exactly like when it comes to feeling down, I always portray myself on the outside as happy, confident and everything in control so my dh never really knows when i am down.
i keep it all inside while it builds and builds to boiling point and then i usually explode like a nutter and shock him. he always says after, "i wish you spoke to me earlier - how will i know?" etc.

i find it hard to cry and hard to tell peole how i am really feeling.

i suffered from depression when younger and spent years with many phobias because of the depression until i had finally had enough and faced each one at a time and slowly there came a day when i had not thought about whatever i use to drive myself mad about the whole day! i was delighted and from there things just got better and i felt "normal" again.

i remember thinking if i feel like this forever i dont want to live which is not nice but it was just a bad phase of my life and i learnt alot about myself through it and also how to make myself happy.

most of the time inside deep down i knew what i had to do but it was the motivation i lacked.

i am glad you are feeling positive somewhere in there and you know it will all be ok because you want it to be.

take care

x

Hi Lovecloud,

Thanks for getting back, I suppose bottling things up for me was a trained response, a learned behaviour for me from a very early age, sadly mum suffered with sczhoprenia as does one of my sisters, I was if you can call it the lucky one, only had to deal with pnd and clinical or reactive depression.

There was such a sense of shame and stigma attached to mental illness in our home, never mind outside it! I think in a way, my past experience has been a driving force in my decision to try and become a counsellor, anyway I just want to thank you Lovecloud for getting back to me and sharing your experience, thanks

Hi Mhamai, what side affects are you getting? I've found taking 1-2 of the vitamin Phamatron really dealt a blow to the fatigue. Don't forget to keep up with your essentail fatty acids, evening primrose 3 times a day or cod liver oil capsules. They really do make a difference.

Hi Monkeytrousers, the main side effects at the mo are nausea, headaches, loss of appetite, disturbed sleep, slight involuntary tremors/jerks oh and drowsiness but it is only day four so I'm just hoping side effects will fade but yeah I had been quite good with taking evening primrose etc but havent for a month or two, will def start them again cheers