Please or to access all these features

Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

Will this depression ever stop - should I go back to my GP?

6 replies

myeyesaresore · 30/07/2012 07:04

I will try to keep this as brief as possible without leaving any details out.

19 Months ago I had my 3rd DC. As with my 2nd i was put under severe pressure to return to work quickly by my boss and was bullied. I had depression as a result. It is not the first time, I also had PND with my 1st (but not my 2nd) and at various times after this.

My GP was very good when I had my last bout, but when she realised that I had previoiusly had lots of AD's for other depression many years ago she seemed to change her stance and said it wasn't worth my while having anything as my depression was situational and that if I changed my job it would get better. I agree with her, but I am trapped to a certain extent. I am the only earner, we are just getting by and have 18 months of a fixed term in our mortgage to run to. I have tried to get other work, but there are very few other positions even advertised and even if I do get something I think I would be unlikely to earn what I do now. This makes me feel bad about the fact that we will need to sell our home and with little equity and lower wages it would be difficult to get something else (we are currently in 3 bed semi). I worry that we would struggle to find security of a family home.

My DH does not work. Our original plan of him looking after the DC has been ok, but he did say when he gave up 4 yrs ago to be a SAHD that if the need arose for him to look for work he would. This now is not happening. He is currently on AD's after I eventually got him to go to GP when his depression was making my life hell and he refused to get help. I feel let down by him and at times wonder if I would be better off without him, but then feel for the DC who he adores/they adore him.

My concern now is that I do not know what is coming first - the depression causing me difficulties or that I have some difficult circumstances that are leading to the depression. I am scared of leaving this job and either not finding another and making our family homeless or struggling as much else where.

I should mention that both my maternal and paternal family have high rates of depression but that I have also had a few difficult circumstances - father of 1st DC was abusive (we split when he was 2yo), me and DC were then homeless, my 1st DC then had a chronic illness and after a 2 year remission when we thought all was ok sadly died after 4 years. Around this time

Should I go back to my GP and see if AD's or other support may help me? I feel like I could cry at the very slightest thing and am losing my confidence and feel that positions that I am sure I could fulfill I am starting to doubt myself on. But I also worry that if any of the positions I require want a medical report that this may be to my disadvantage.

OP posts:
amillionyears · 30/07/2012 07:11

I was going to answer until it came to the very last sentence.
I dont know the answer to the very last sentence.Hopefully someone else can advise you on that.
As regards the rest,if you did choose to go back to the GP,you could choose to see a different one in the practice to get a fresh perspective.
Sorry about your first DC,you have been through an awful lot.

it is unfortuanate that your DH got depression,and this has altered your working pattern.
It does sound like the depression could be situational still,but I am not a medical person.

myeyesaresore · 30/07/2012 07:28

Thanks for your reply.

Sorry I may not have been very clear, my DH depression didn't alter my working pattern, it was a decision (as I earnt much more) for him to be a SAHD. Due to recession my earnings have dropped a lot. I could do with him working to help out a bit as we are just scraping by so this is an added worry to me as I do all the household budgeting etc as well as working about 50/55 hours a week. Or for him to find a job so that we could both work, I don't think it helps me to think he can watch me struggle by with everything when he could do a bit more to help out.

Someone else has said that AD;s can/are often used in situational depression as well but I do not know if this can be the case or not.

OP posts:
mumsknots · 30/07/2012 10:18

Myeyes, I think it's immaterial what has caused the depression, the fact is you sound depressed and need some help, whether it be counselling or a course of anti depressants.

I'm due to see my doctor this week as I've had so much thrown at me this last 6 months that I've now realised that I've slipped into depression and need help getting out of it. Mine is all situational and there's nothing I can do to change it but I know that anti depressants will just give me that foot-hold and lift my mood enough for me to handle things better.

You've struggled on with this long enough now and it's not getting better, so please go and see your gp again.

And I certainly wouldn't worry should you require a medical report some time in the future. Depression is so common. They may well ask what this period was about but with the stress and pressure you've been under, it's totally understandable and certainly nothing that should cause problems.

myeyesaresore · 30/07/2012 13:23

mumsknots thanks for your response.

Sorry to hear that you are also having difficulties, hope you feel better soon too.

The medical reports info makes sense. Maybe I'll try and pluck up the courage to get and see the GP and hope that I get a better response this time. I really do want things to get better with my work situation but I am afraid that the depression will make it difficult for me to come across well if I do get to interview stage thus creating a viscious circle. I think maybe the GP thinks I should not rely on AD's so much. She may be right - I just don't know any more Confused

OP posts:
mumsknots · 30/07/2012 14:07

Feeling like you could cry all the time and the loss of confidence in my opinion are very telling of depression - can totally equate to that!

You have had so much to deal with in your life and still do, it's no wonder you're feeling as you are!

I know a lot of surgeries now offer talking therapies/counselling and I wonder if that would be an option for you and maybe give you the tools to deal with these stresses in your life, rather than the AD route?

And of course, hope you too start feeling better soon.

mumsknots · 30/07/2012 14:28

'totally relate to that'

Can't even blame my phone, just my brain at the moment Confused

New posts on this thread. Refresh page