Can PND be cyclical or episodic, am I going nmad or is this normal?

[hairytale]

In PND is it possible to feel fine one day and awful the next? Or fine for two weeks then Ill for a day or two days?

I keep having days of extreme weepiness coupled with over whelming thoughts - like something awful will happen to her eg that she could run into the road when she is bigger or fall out of an upstairs window or that I should put her into care because im not going to be a good enough mum :(

I used to have horrible thoughts of harming her (I would never harm her) - "what if I dropped her on her head?".

And some times I just think I've been incredibly selfish innhaving her and I feel really sorry for her.

I know deep down I've been a really good mum so far - she's a content, giggly, sociable little girl - but sometimes I get the mist awful anxiety and sadness.

Or is this normal.

I love her SO much and I waited a long time for her.

She's 6 months old.

Look love depression and anxiety makes no sense to any sufferer, at any time, anywhere. The tricks it plays are cruel - feeling fine one day and "you" only to be hit by another "blip" (as the medics call them) the next day for no reason. How can that make sense to anyone - it can't and people who don't suffer from this horrid illness always want to think of a "trigger" for the bad days. They want some rational explanation, but mostly there is none - it is completely irrational.

Thanks. I've had a long chat with HV who thinks it's PND. Suggests 10mg citalopram is fine for breast feeding. Also agrees with me having counselling. She was very knowledgeable and was very kind.

Oh good - I thought there was an AD you could take while breast feeding. 10mg might take the edge off things for you. So glad you have found a knowledgeable and kind HV - hope you can keep in touch with her.

I'm going to ask for sertraline as that seems the most bf friendly one.

Still waking up crying and a bad stomach and feeling sick.

Last night I took 100mg sertralene and didn't get a wink of sleep. I had a bad reaction to it. :(

GP has changed dose to 50mg mornings.

I've been to see my counsellor (private) and she agrees it's PND (I totally trust her assessment).

Hi, has it been a better night for you?

Yes thank you! I slept better. I took 50mg this morning And although I did have strong anxiety it has got better as the day has gone on. I went to counselling appointment last night.

For the last two days mornings have been dreadful afternoons and evenings have been better.

Health visitor will be coming to see me Tuesday - had a long phone chat earlier - she was concerned about me having been given 100mg.