Anxiety - scared of dying?

[Tizzylizzy]

Anyone else terrified? I spend many a day just seemingly scraping from minute to minute thinking I'm going to collapse and die - and then worry about there being 'nothing' after I die. My anxiety started after birth of DC 16 months ago.

Have you spoken to your gp or hv about how you are feeling?

It's the best place to start and they'll know how to help you.

Be honest with how you feel as they won't be able to provide the right things otherwise.

I second that, it's not normal to feel as you do. The fact that it started soon after you gave birth is a big indicator that it is some form of post natal illness. Don't delay there is treatment, and no shame in asking for it. I suffered terrible
Postnatal anxiety, to the point where I couldn't even make a sandwich I was so wound up. Two months after starting medication I was totally back to normal and loving life and my baby. Good luck.

Please please speak you your GP as soon as you can and be honest about how you feel and when it started, I am guessing it is related to the birth of your child.

When I was 9 years old my mother stood up at the dinner table one Sunday and announced she was going to die, this was the start of many fun filled years with trips to hospitals, (I would say on average 5 times a week) and calling the Dr to her every day of her "collapsing" every time we went out, of going to family sessions at the psychiatric hospital she was admitted in to, and one of her fellow mental patients trying to sexually abuse me.
She was given pills, I am now 41 and she still takes them, she is going to die, so am I, so are you and everyone else in the world.

How are you doing tizzylizzy? We are thinking of you

I was the same after the birth of my dd. I was convinced I was going to die and leave her. It's an awful feeling and I can sympathise. I don't have any advice really I'm afraid I just wanted to let you know you are not alone, I have gradually gotten over this feeling on my own but do see your gp if you feel you need to. Thinking of you.

Sorry pressed send too soon, feel free to pm me if you need a chat or a handhold you are not alone.

Thank you! Just seen these replies! How thoughtful. I'm better today. Not as scared. Still pondering life and what it's all about - the fact there is no 'answer' is what really scares me. Do other people think about this stuff so deeply? Or is it my anxiety/depression?

Tizzy, first, glad you are feeling bit better, it WILL get better. Some people just normally ponder these things more than others and I don't suppose it's something people tend to talk about much from day to day! I think it's normal to get more panicky when you have young children too but obviously it's not normal for it to ruin your day to day life. ( I did a course last year where the tutor said everybody DESERVES these things;- to feel HAPPY ( on the whole), SAFE and LOVED. Sounds good but certainly not always how we feel but we can aim for them.

The way I cope with the death thing and 'nothingness' is by thinking this -being dead means basically not being alive, I wasn't alive prior to the mid sixties and it wasn't a problem. I hope that doesn't sound glib, I am just trying to put it in a matter of fact way. Take care.

Thank you senses. That's a really good way of looking at it. I just feel like a ball of worry - I worry about death, my health (namely cancer), obviously my DS, getting older, not fulfilling my goals, everything really and it's so wearing. I don't think I've always been like this. Hopefully one day soon I'll get back to the old me. Not care free exactly but, like you say, happy. Thanks again for your responses :)

Tizzy I could have written this post, except my dd is now 3 and I'm suffering with it so don't think I can connect it to anything post-natal.

I have had a fear of death since I was a little girl. For years I have put it to the back of my mind and blocked it, however last week I allowed it to creep out, thought deeply about it, and haven't recovered since :-( I know what triggered it this time though, my grandad whom I loved dearly passed away two weeks ago, he was a big, strong man and I think I never actually thought the day would come when he died, stupid as that sounds!

Like you I panic about what comes next, I wish I could find peace of mind and be happy.

I have been having panic attacks almost constantly for 4 days, everywhere I look I see death/blackness :-( I have an appointment with the Dr for this week and I pray he can help me as it's ruining my life.

Oh Tap! Bless you. I'm finding that reading about spritual things is helping - near death experiences and things. Look up Anita Moorjani's story - it's absolutely fascinating and could help give you some hope :)

How old are you tizzy? There are meant to be certain phases in life when we fear death more. I have been there a few times, at certain ages and with the death of my brother. I think having faced it a few times, whilst its still a scary thought, it doesn't play on my mind nowadays.

If its been triggered with the birth of your dc, then it's worth seeing your gp, perhaps for some counselling.

30...

aaah Tizzy, how I wish I was 30 again, well, in body at least! I know exactly what you're saying about the things you actually worry about, the cancer, unfullfilled dreams. I did have a cancer scare last year which was frightening but thankfully all cleared up now. What you say sounds so perfectly normal so take heart from that!

But we have to do something about you scraping by (folds arms in motherly way), we can't have you feeling like this. Have you tried relaxation tapes at all, I believe there are some very good ones (reading Amazon reviews that is) and I keep meaning to get myself one. The thing that puts me off is that the DCs (13y and 10y) prob wouldn't give me peace to listen to it! Have you considered counselling at all. I recommend that you try asking yourself whether this constant worry is really helping you day to day - take one day at a time is such a cliche but so true. And if you can do something nice or that you enjoy for yourself each day, may only be something small eg. put on a DVD Do you have time for a hobby, I find a bit of craft/sewing/baking helps me relax and focus.

Hope some of these ideas help. You are not alone!