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Original poster

counselling cynic (but going anyway!)

11 replies

missalarmclockhater · 24/07/2012 11:09

I'm seeing a counsellor later today and I have to admit that I am cynical Grin

I have tried a couple of times before and it has been ... well, that was a nice chat about my horrible life - but now what? :)

I just feel I have to try everything before giving up so any suggestions as to how I can make the most of it?

OP posts:
nosleepwithworry · 24/07/2012 11:16

I went and sat like a petulant teenager, arms folded, legs crossed and said in a sulky voice "ive been sent by work but i dont think i need to be here"

Councelling lady just asked me one or two things and it was like floodgates.
Honestly, it was so helpful. The stuff she said was like she was in my head, it was like she knew me!

I came out with all kinds of shit, stuff i didnt even know i was pissed off about..but evidentally i am really angry about this stuff! Shock

Twas like fecking magic or something!

Are you going for an assessment? Because maybe that patricular type of councelling isnt any good for you. There are lots of different kinds of councelling.
Maybe you need to be open and say that its nice to chat, BUT it isnt helping, ask them to suggest an alternative?? possibly??

When it works, it really works ime.

Original poster
missalarmclockhater · 24/07/2012 13:12

Thanks, I hope it works but I don't think it will, I don't think anything will but that's symptom of quite serious depression, I know :)

OP posts:
TheSkiingGardener · 24/07/2012 13:26

If you want to make the most of it go with an open mind. Ask your counsellor what approach they follow (there are, literally, hundreds) and how she works with people. Listen to see what she says and see if you can get engaged. It has to be a good relationship for counselling to work, that's how most change can happen.

At worst, what have you got to lose by giving it the best shot you can?

Original poster
missalarmclockhater · 24/07/2012 13:45

£40? lol.

OP posts:
sparklekitty · 24/07/2012 16:16

If you've tried it before and not got on with it it might be a case of finding the right approach/person for you. I know it's not for everyone but I have to say therapy (not sure if thats different) completely changed/saved my life. Try to stick with its

TheSkiingGardener · 24/07/2012 20:57

Ah, if you're paying then that's a whole new ball game. Advice from all the major counselling/psychotherapy organisations is to try a few therapists and see which one you get on and feel like things will progress with. It could also be worth looking in to some of the different types of therapy to see if one really appeals to you, or if an approach really sounds wrong. There's loads of information on the BACP site under their Find A Therapist section. Your the customer, make it work for you!

yellowraincoat · 24/07/2012 21:00

How did it go OP?

I've just come back from my counsellor, she is beyond helpful. It took me a while to find the right person though.

DadIsSad · 25/07/2012 00:36

"£40? lol."

Yeah - unfortunately that was a contributory factor to stopping the sessions I was having. If it wasn't for the cost (and getting anxious about that which wasn't really helping me a lot) I'd probably have kept going with the hope that I might eventually get somewhere.

I do remember counselling helping in the past though when I had issues due to a particularly traumatic event 10 years ago, so maybe I should just try somebody different. Would be a lot easier if I didn't have to pay though.

Original poster
missalarmclockhater · 27/07/2012 13:37

I went but I don't think it's going to work. At least it was just a half hour introduction to decide whether I wanted to go ahead or not.

'Normal' counselling hasn't worked in the past, I mentioned CBT but she said she didn't think it would work for me so she spoke about transactional analysis which I'm fairly sure I tried and failed miserably at.

She asked me what I thought I could get out of the sessions and I tried to be honest and said I didn't think I could be helped, think things have gone beyond that. I also didn't feel I could open up to her about the fact I want to end my life.

I honestly don't know what to do.

OP posts:
TeacakeTilly · 27/07/2012 14:15

Oh OP Sad Could you write it down? I found a fab counsellor but my sessions on the nhs have run out and I don't think he does paid ones so I'm on to a new one. It occurred to me the other day that I was utterly fed up of telling various people (counsellors, different doctors, boss) what was going on so I thought I might write it down in order to not have to reel it off each time, which does make me worse. I'll also then not forget anything (in theory).

I know what you mean about the 'what now?' feeling after you've told them all your crap. Counsellors obviously are told not to give advice but a lot of the time advice is what I need so I get really frustrated and just feel self-indulgent for having ranted for an hour!

TheSkiingGardener · 27/07/2012 23:19

If she works with TA and you would like to try more of a CBT approach then she isn't for you. I'm really sorry you found you couldn't open up to her, but you need to feel that you are safe with someone. That can take time, but it sounds as though you didn't feel the base for that was there.

Have you had a look at this website here It allows you to search by approach and by reason you want therapy. Maybe then phone round a few in your area to see if any of them feel like they might work for you. You are the customer after all!

I really hope you are able to access the help that's out there, and get the help you need to work through your depression. Please don't give up.

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