I've been on ADs (Lofepramine - was on Citalopram initially) for 5 months now. Recently went back to my GP and he upped the dose after I had another bout of depression. Have had some counselling which I wasn't sure was doing me any good (I found I got more depressed every time I went due to thinking about the things which get me down, without it actually solving anything) so I stopped that. Am feeling really down again - unable to make any decisions and no motivation to do anything, not even stuff I supposedly enjoy. I wouldn't say I'm continually depressed - sometimes quite happy recently, more so than I've been for a while - but it's like it's always there in the background as my default state I slip back into if something triggers me, or even if I just forget to make the effort to be happy.
So what now? Am I doomed to always be like this? The popular wisdom seems to be that either the drugs sort you out or counselling helps you get your head straight. I feel like I've tried both and nothing is really helping - have been feeling just about as low the last few days as I can remember being. I think I'm already on the maximum dose of my ADs, though I took 4 pills instead of 3 yesterday anyway just in case it helped (I knew it was pretty futile, but it feels like I'm trying at least). At least before I admitted I needed help I had the hope that if I really needed it I could get drugs to make it all better, don't even have that hope any more.