F*&^ing PND w/this f^%$ing anxiety b^%locks I HATE THIS!

[expatinscotland]

DD1's got something. Tbh, I think she's got crap sinuses like me - we've both had phelgmy coughs w/it all week b/c this weather's all over the place. Today I felt crap so I can imagine how she feels. She won't take meds - she's 2.8.

I'm thinking she's having one of my lovely sinusitis attacks. Yes, they do make you slightly feverish.

Of course, here come the panic attacks and paranoid thoughts. Happy happy joy joy!

It's all I can do not to smoke a cigarette. I'd also love to get drunk, too, but can't on these meds.

Don't know if I can help, but I'm here for a bit (till DS2 squeaks) and can chat? xxxxxx

thanks, hon.

I just had a HUGE panic attack. I mean, full on w/chest pains. I know this is sinus-related - it's classic: no other symptoms but just feeling absolute sh()e. But of course my head just runs away w/me.

F*&k. Of course, the first thing I think is: 'Go buy some cigarettes, EIS, you'll feel better then.' Oh, yes, so I can get another panic attack about getting cancer and get all paranoid about it going into my milk. Like that's really going to help.

DD1 is a bear when she's ill - very like her father. She doesn't want cuddled, she just lays in her bed and moans. It's bloody awful. She had a chest infection just after dd2 was born.

And to get her to take meds! We had to hold her down in the bath to give her her ABs when she had that chest infection.

Poor soul! And she's got a crazy mum like me. Fabby.

Oh, sweetheart - you are not crazy! It's bloody horrible when they're ill - you saw my thread the other day when I was having a rough one (still not 100%)?

Poor DD1 - is there any way you can get her to have a smoothie with med in? I believe you make famously good ones?

Ironically, poor bipolar ex-bf sent me an email today. We're still friends, DH is okay w/it. He knows I have PND again and was just seeing how things were. Poor bastard! Oh, well, he owes me a few! He was like, 'My timing is impeccable! I'm between rotations. Tell me of your paranoia, craving for substance abuse and depressive thoughts . . .'

Does it help to write about it? I'm going to pour my heart out into a notebook, I think (kind of a brain-vom session) and see how I feel afterwards. Think the notebook might be soggy, but hey!

Can you take anything for your sinus pain? It's one of the worst pains there is, isn't it?

DS2 squeaking - will catch up with you later - thinking of you my sweet x x x x x

She'll have none of it, hunker. I tried it all when she had the chest infection.

I just wish she'd let me hold her! She just wants left alone. God, how like me and DH she is. We are always the sort just to sod off rather than look for comfort for anyone. Hell, that's how I ended up in Scotland anyhow. DH used to go climb mountains alone.

She's been off her food today. I thought she was getting her last molar. She might be. The two big ones on bottom have yet to appear and I can imagine how much they hurt to break.

I can only imagine how my journal is going to read! LOL! Ever read this obscure surrealist piece 'Nadja'? I feel like Nadja. At least she could draw.

My sinuses aren't too bad b/c I sprayed w/saline and steamed twice today. But her. Oh, poor baby!

DH will be camping out in her room tonight.

Oh EPIS sorry you are having a rough time atm.

I truly sympathise. If you want to talk - please CAT me (I havent paid my CAT subs ).

PND is tough in itself but when your LO's are ill too its makes it doubly difficult. As ardent an anti smoker as i am, if the quitting is stressing you that much, dont put yourself through it just yet. Hold off until things have settled a bit for you.

God I hate panic attacks, am so glad ot out of that time.

can you take some time to do some simple relaxation exercises? Find yourslef somewhere that you feel comfortable and happy and visulaise this place adding all the things that make you ahppy within the scene.