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Mental health

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I don't know how or where to get help. Or even if I can.

41 replies

charliesweb · 21/07/2012 18:16

I have been struggling with increasing anxiety. It focuses on what people think of me and things I have said. At the end of the day I run the days conversations and interactions through my mind and regret things I've said or done. I worry that I've looked stupid or that people will think badly or less of me. I also worry about decisions I've made at work. Outwardly I appear to others very confidently and I am outgoing. I work in a large team who don't get together as a group very often, I have become very established and well known. Yet underneath this I am plagued with crippling feelings of doubt and anxiety. I recently had to do an important assessment at work and another member of the team has not been questioning me, but the quality of the people I assessed. I feel like my inability is going to be uncovered and exposed for all to see. It makes me feel close to tears and at times consumes my thoughts. I don't know what to do. Maybe I feel like this because these feelings are justified.

I am sorry this is a ramble I wanted to get all my thoughts out. Ive reached the point where I really need help. I want to enjoy my life again.

OP posts:
Lonelylou · 21/07/2012 19:53

The above was said in jest by the way Blush

charliesweb · 21/07/2012 19:59

Don't worry I know Smile. I do apologise and talk a lot about feelings with the dcs. I do Rory that I'm screwing them up. Oh well I'm sure someone once said all parents screw up their kids. Actually I think it might have been Gregory House, perhaps not the best person to base my opinions on!!

The beauty of the Internet is that there are people to talk to with shared experiences and the protection of anonymity. I think depression/anxiety lies to you and makes you believe no one else feels the same, everyone else has their life sorted. The masks we were reinforces this view. When we share our darkest fears and thoughts we realise we are not so different from everyone else. My default answer if anyone asks me how I am is always fine.

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Lonelylou · 21/07/2012 20:02

I'm fair to middlin' Smile

charliesweb · 21/07/2012 20:19

I mean I'm rarely honest about my feelings. If I do say anything negative about how I am I feel guilty that I've made the other person feel uncomfortable. It's just a pleasantly and I don't thnk they really want to know how I am.

Ps who the hell is Rory!!!! Smile

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Lonelylou · 21/07/2012 20:26

No they don't. They're making plesantries. Do you avoid the peeps who stand there and actually tell you? I do.

You can tell a counsellor anything and dump it all there. It was a great feeling to walk away with my 'backpack of anger' a bit lighter.

Lonelylou · 21/07/2012 20:27

Hi Rory Smile

charliesweb · 21/07/2012 20:37

I know it's just a social convention, but I sometimes think it would be better if we could all be a bit more honest with each other. Because I do the "I'm fine" response with everyone. After ds1 was born the HV would visit. I would say I'm fine, but I was thinking "inside I'm screaming why can't you see?".

OTOH I work with someone who always has something wring with her and tells anyone who'll listen her woes. People have lost patience with her. Where is the balance between the two? (possibly rhetorical question!)

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charliesweb · 21/07/2012 20:37

Rory says hi.

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Lonelylou · 21/07/2012 20:41

I admire people who can be honest in two sentences. I aspire to be like that one day Smile

Lonelylou · 21/07/2012 20:42

What about you Rory? Grin

charliesweb · 21/07/2012 20:46

I can say very little in 2 sentences! I rather like to talk.

Rory is a typical man and feels very intimidated at the thought of talking about feelings!

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Lonelylou · 21/07/2012 20:59

OMG...let's stop the 'Rory' or we'll be done for 'multi personality' issues too! LOL

Lonelylou · 23/07/2012 08:15

Hi charliesweb. Was thinking of you and hoping you're making that GP appointment today.

charliesweb · 23/07/2012 14:18

I started to feel better but your message has reminded me I do need to see someone. I need to work out a time when I can go without the kids. Thank you for your support.

My period started last night (tmi I know!) I wonder if there is a connection.

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Lonelylou · 23/07/2012 16:30

No probs as far as the support goes Smile

Let me know how you get on.

charliesweb · 23/08/2012 17:30

Hi quick update if you're still checking this thread. I've finally booked to see GP next Friday. It's a start.

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