So so scared of these feelings

[inmymind]

NC for this.

I don't understand why I feel so low and anxious. Why now at nearly 40 years old?
I am at a time in my life when I have less worries than I have ever had after some truly tough times in the past.
Now my mind won't let me be happy, what started as health anxiety is turning into something that I fear will be a complete breakdown

On the surface I am holding everything together and I have been able to confide in Dh who himself has suffered depression in the past.

He thinks medication is the answer but I am beyond scared of the possible side effects. I have tried some natural methods with thanks to these boards, such as omega 3 but after an up period I am very very down again.

Please help

amillionyears like that advice as well, think I shall start taking it. X

Everytime I'm having a down moment I come back to the advice on here and it always gives me a lift.

There really is some amazing support on the MH board x

Good!! It's got me through many a dark hour too.

Struggling today. I'm starting to learn the triggers for my anxiety.
I'm ok when I'm busy but alone with my own thoughts is not good.

My latest 'fears' are me hurting someone if I lost control of my mind. Does that even make sense?
I imagine me being taken away from the children and every other horrible thought in that scenario.

Is this just anxiety? I don't know if it's depression, I do still have times of happiness and feeling like 'me'

I think this is anxiety - anxiety is fear, fear of the future, not rational but mental illness is not rational - anything but. I think your anxiety is getting worse and that's why you are having these thoughts. The thing is with anx/dep is that it comes and goes sometimes and that's why it's so damn confusing. I think I've told you I can be fine for weeks and then wake up feeling shite on day for no reason.

I really think it's time to see the GP - I have heard so many posters on the MH threads saying how scared they are of side effects with ADs and I do wonder why this is. I think I said before all drugs have side effects, but there is no saying that you will get any, and if you do, they often fade after a short time.

Talk to the GP - depression and anxiety usually go together but one can be more difficult, and for you it sounds like it is anxiety. ADs cope with depression and anxiety. Your DH has obviously found ADs helpful in the past, and so many MNs have found them life savers.

You won't do any of the things you are scared of doing - but I think it means that your aniety is getting worse. So come on pick up that phone inthe morning and make an appt and come back and tell us how you get on.

IF you do decide to take meds (and the GP is willing to prescribe) DO remember that it isn't like taking paracetomol for a headache. They take time to work and this can be 2/3 weeks, and sometimes (though not always) anxiety can get worse before you start to feel the benefits.

Did you watch the ruby wax programme last night? It was brilliant.

It's normal to have a mental health problem. You are not alone, drugs can really help. Could you see it more as a middle step than a life long commitment.

Op you sound like me. I have been suffering from anxiety for a few months. I have been having a course of cbt which has helped a bit.

I was going through that horrible cycle of thinking I was never going to feel the same again. In the end I went to the go and got ads. I've been taking them for 3 weeks now and already feel a difference. The butterflies have gone and I've stopped obsessing about how I'm feeling and 95% feel myself again.

I hated taking the ads but when I spoke with friends about taking them I was so surprised how many we're taking them. It made me feel better that I was not a failure.

Good luck! I hope things get better for you soon.

Thankyou everyone, NanaNina your posts always help me so much. I'm so grateful to everyone that takes the time to answer with such insight and non judgementally.
Honestly welling up here

I am def going to go back to the gp just need DH to arrange some time off next week to be with the Dc.
The more I read here my fears about the Ad's are being eased and at least I know I can come here if I do have any side effects x

Ah so glad you are going to the GP inmymind - don't forget that it's often best to write a list of your symptoms in case you clam up with the GP or forget half of what you wanted to say. Include all the symptoms (don't leave any out, thinking "Oh I can't say that" because he/she will have heard it all before. Think I am repeating myself actually from another post!

How can we possibly be judgemental when we have all been/are going through the same as you. I think it's interesting that you mention that word though because it links in to this business that we are somehow ashamed of being mentally ill and embarrassed about anyone knowing (unless people close to us who can understand) sorry I am saying "we" but that's certainly the way it is for me, and I believe for many more people. You would probably never even think that people would be judgemental if you had pneumonia or a broken leg would you. My sister always rings now whereas she used to just pop in - she lives nearby and she came once and saw me in a heap, uncontrolled crying etc and she was so upset she was tearful herself so even though she is close to me she can't cope with seeing me like that.

I have a real fear of anyone seeing me on my bad days (other than my DP and 2 or 3 close women friends) because I am an emotional wreck, and yes I am ashamed that I am being like this - think it's just another damn trick that dep/anx throws in for good measure!

I used to love people coming to stay, but now I am really worrying because my lovely step grd dghtr is coming tonight with her boyfriend, and I know I'm ok tonight but worrying how I will be tomorrow. She is a sweet girl so I will tell her tonight and I know she will understand.

My step grandson is coming for a long weekend with his dad and step mum (all lovely people) but I don't think they know about my problem (we don't see them very often and they live at the opposite end of the country) so I am worried about that. I even PMed step-sons dad last night to explain, but makin the point that I did really want to see them but just warning about my ups and downs. Haven't heard back yet so am worrying about that too!!

Sorry this is all about me.....it's because I am feeling a bit anxious.....and I know it's safe to talk on here. I have been able to use this thread when the bad days come, as it's a way of interacting with people without having to see anyone.

Of course you can come back here about possible side effects or anything else
for that matter.